Taylor Penrith

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

*taking tape off my laptop camera so my assigned fbi agent can see me again*
im sorry. i was upset. i shouldnt have taken it out on u by blocking u out of my life. i wasnt mad at u.. i was mad at myself

[James Parker @panoparker]

Friend 1: "Where's the best place to stand during an earthquake?"

Friend 2: "A doorway, a car, under the bed?"

Me, an intellectual:

[cool & unusual @bra_zos]

*opens instagram*

yep, everyone's life is still better than mine

*closes instagram*

*opens twitter*

ah yes. my fellow trash bretheren.

[Mave @MavenofHonor]

Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff

[Vsauce @tweetsauce]

Harlem Shake videos are still being made and uploaded to YouTube at a rate of 3 per hour.

[Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas]

What they say:

Hi I'm Brandon. This is Liz and Steven.

What I remember:

Hi I'm BLERPBLAP. This is GLAUNGH and CRAIG or maybe GREG.

[bright horse @brighthorse]

morning wood

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

feel time at the scale the planet does & every tree becomes a firework, blooming from a seed & flickering in radiant reds & greens & yelows

[Digital Trends @DigitalTrends]

Switzerland’s new ‘air-scrubbing’ plant sucks CO2 out of the atmosphere. https://t.co/GCP6XWKabg

[Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa]

are u sure that is why

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

as a child i asked my dad why the moon looks really really big sometimes and he said "simulations always have bugs" and i havent slept since