Taylor Phillips

I do all my own stunts 🤸‍♀️

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Sundays are for ramen

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

What if we kissed in the room of requirements ⚡️

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

My friend, an icon, broke up with a man with this golden line: “I just can’t come home and listen to phish anymore.”

Feel free to borrow.

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

My therapist made an incredibly astute observation this week that my cat and I are codependent.

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

If you’re from the Bay Area, then you have a friend in the diamond business #iykyk

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

@josden10 Wild ferret is a hard find but I accept the challenge

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

I aspire to be the kind of old man who has an odd wild animal friend like a goose or a squirrel who meets up with me everyday at the park to share snacks

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

@virgin_maria_ They’re wearing them, I’m enjoy that sweet n free upper knee

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

European men loooove the Bermuda jort

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Snacking is dangerous game because I want to enjoy my snacks but if I like the snack, I’ll abuse it. I even tried getting healthier snacks so I got banana chips but they’re fucking delicious and I’m about to destroy this entire bag in one sitting 🙃

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Requesting all streaming platforms to automatically put up subtitles for 10s if you hit the rewind 10s button. Please and thank you!

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Eyelashes are designed to keep stuff out of my eyes, but they are basically the only thing that gets in my eye. It’s giving “no one messes with my little brother but ME” energy.

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

The way an Airbnb host will change once you can no longer cancel is just 🙃

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Whenever I go for a walk and I see all these people walking their dogs I feel embarrassed. Like I’m just walking myself what a loser

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

@chonginese It’s an insulated vessel that you’ve had forever, sip from all day long, and bring with you everywhere. I feel nakie without her 💔 stay hydrated my friend

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Yesterday I returned a pair of ray ban sunglasses AND a credit card I found at two separate bars and how am I rewarded? By losing my emotional support water bottle. I’d like to file a formal complaint with the karma gods.

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

In the middle of the night I wrote a notes app that said “tweet about being on time”….? Here it is I guess

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Sometimes I wish I was evil. They seem verrrrrrry productive

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Me “worshiping satan” Halloween circa 2001 I guess. Well if the devil is real and we’re going there anyways, might as well get on his good side. See you in hell @samsmith @kimpetras 😈🌈

[Taylor Phillips @tayphill6]

Groundhogs day has got to be the weirdest thing we do. That said, I’m a simp for Punxsutawney and I take his weather predictions incredibly seriously 😘