Allen or Allout

hey my name's Allen and I hate seaworld very much
(he/him) TXST '20

[Kane 謝凱堯 @kane]

This is it, the most zeitgeist story. It’s got performative diversity fetish. It’s got social media body dysmorphia. It’s got AI moral panic. It’s got decay of academic institutions.

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 @KLobstar]

I made the mistake of showing “woah momma they trapped me in the orb” to my kids and now they keep saying it and my wife is not enthused

[Michigan Truther @scumbag_unit]

This would’ve been one of the biggest scandals in US history and immediately ended any previous presidency. Just another day

[Moonstruck❤️‍🔥 @godspeed_aflame]

it’s easy to understand how hearing gamelan music for the first time completely one shot so many 20th century composers.

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

all i had to do was threaten to purchase his cryptocurrency

[People Over Profit @Floridamarx]

This is a good example of government being invisible when it’s working correctly. You didn’t get rabies bc the govt is working for you, but you don’t know it.

[MattyG @meawoppl]

Wife told me these wouldn’t fit.

Little did she know I had trained for this moment for years.

[Brad Polumbo @brad_polumbo]

It should probably be illegal to run ads like this without a mandatory "AI SATIRE NOT REAL" disclosure on it, or something, because a depressing percentage of older Americans will genuinely watch this and think it is real.

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I can’t really make fun of this because John Green ended up building a maternity hospital in Sierra Leone and coercing Johnson & Johnson to surrender their patent on Tuberculosis medication entirely off the power of millennial cringe.

[Trey the Explainer @Trey_Explainer]

“The power cable now passes near Bronze Age human burial remains instead of fictional grave”

Bro we’re really living in an Onion article

[JJ ☁️ @JJCooperWX]

"If I had a nickel for every time everyone in McKinney was dead, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?"

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Musical equivalent of a photorealistic pencil sketch of master chief

[Grace Cathedral Park @gracecthdralprk]

For everything bad you could say about American culture (and it could fill libraries), we used to have a very Protestant aversion to ostentatious displays of wealth and a very republican aversion to veneration of living leaders. The Trump era has virtually destroyed both of those

[chris oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

when you’re out there in the world just remember that most of the people around you believe AI is smarter than whatever reality you’re living in

[Trey the Explainer @Trey_Explainer]

I always really appreciate that they are referencing real transitional fossils here

[Sarah 📸 @swrightCO]

grocery shopping in colorado is hilarious because every chip bag looks like it’s about to explode

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

i'm sure the ability to fabricate convincing historical footage that eventually drifts across the internet, where it's picked up by people who present them as real, at a time when trust in educational and media institutions is already eroding, will prove to be a net positive