can you not

sassy but classy

[can you not @tbhburger]

i can safely assume 98% of us should be doing homework right now.

[can you not @tbhburger]

why are boobs and butts so enticing they are literally sacks of fat

[can you not @tbhburger]

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

[can you not @tbhburger]

people: watch your language

me: oh shit sorry

[can you not @tbhburger]

maybe she's born with it.. maybe its an Instagram filter

[can you not @tbhburger]

ghost hunters: can you communicate with us

*door creeks*

ghost hunters: oh so your name is william

[can you not @tbhburger]

parents: why don't you come socialize with the family?
me: sits with family
me: gets insulted by entire family
me: goes back to bedroom

[can you not @tbhburger]

twinkle twinkle little star, your annoyin go jump infront of a car

[can you not @tbhburger]

row row row your boat gently away from me

[can you not @tbhburger]

rt if your boobs glow in the dark

[can you not @tbhburger]

i am fiji water you are pond water

[can you not @tbhburger]

there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you'd have no idea

[can you not @tbhburger]

walk in the club like whaddup I got a oh no oh god wrong building im so sorry continue with your funeral god bless

[can you not @tbhburger]

birds are lucky because they get to attend concerts for free

[can you not @tbhburger]

if i send you ugly selfies our friendship is real

[can you not @tbhburger]

im trying to make a miley cyrus joke but it's not twerking

[can you not @tbhburger]

if i had a dollar for everytime someone called me ugly id be broke cause im perfect lol later losers

[can you not @tbhburger]

"your friend is hot" story of my life

[can you not @tbhburger]

a short poem:

do teachers
understand
that you take
other classes

[can you not @tbhburger]

breaking news: i dont care