He-Man, how I copy your plastic body. Snagged in Prejudice against my reality. All my wishes compensating for the loss of perfection that can be perceived in disability. #artistwriting
“...Icaros...
...imaginative interpreter...
...What the body is denied the mind must achieve...
...in search of mines - feeling for death every foot. But it is death I have been writing about all this time...the only solution to this problem of how to be able to fly.” #ARMB
Family. Death.
“Paolozzi, the son of two Italian immigrants, worked at the family confectionery shop in the Scottish port of Leith. From an early age he collected cigarette cards and images in scrap albums, many of which he used in later work.”... #ARMB
It wasn’t his to do that. It was mine. And I clearly needed all the attention on my painting. I hated myself and having to smile for the camera.
Initials: made to face myself (too much attention on me)
Paintbrush: taking attention from my work (external me) #ARMB
I didn’t even know those other children. I didn’t play with them, talk to them. I was angry because one boy put his paintbrush on my painting for the group photograph... #ARMB
I wanted to be able to paint. Not be captured in time. Forced to pose. I guess I didn’t like myself very much then either.
I remember it being commented upon that I painted directly without needing to sketch out beforehand. #ARMB
Outsider. Unconventional ideas and materials. Subjective experience.
Anxiety. Doubt (indecision). Consumerism (impulse/panic buying). Logic: what we can and cannot know (empirical phenomenon, grief). Double logic of prosthesis (self, other)... #ARMB
Childhood. Memory. Identity. Family. Death.
What can you remember?
How did it happen?
Where was it?
What was I like?
How long did it take?
Were the photos taken on the same day? #ARMB
Lost, not found object.
Reflectors: I don’t need to warn others I’m here. The responsibility should never have been mine to take on. It was a terrible accident.
Intellectualising, not connecting with my body/emotions. (Existential philosophers). #ARMB
“...They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.” #ARMB
“...All moments, past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just the way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance...”... #ARMB