Mitch Salzman

“Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what's on the other side?” (G.R.R.M.)

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Hey, @fbhw, I've got a new game for you to play. I show you a picture and you try to find the biggest ass. And...GO!

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Kelly! Go register for free Free Beer & Hot Wings Live Show Tickets! https://t.co/CQEBcgLB1c

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Winning the Free Beer & Hot Wings Live Show Ticket Giveaway could really turn this week around! - https://t.co/sT5GJq9jSc

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Looks like it's time for my annual price-hike w/ @Comcast. And we had such a good thing! Since when is "Internet" a non-renewable resource?!

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Coming to a scenic little B&B nowhere near you 9/9/17, @jon_cutting

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

If only I could make @kellytrisch laugh the way #BroadCity on @ComedyCentral does I would no longer question why she agreed to marry me.

[IMAX @IMAX]

Put your Caped Crusader skills to the test. Retweet for your chance to win a #PS4 & @BatmanArkham Knight!

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Taking ideas for episodes, @ericzanefbhw? I think Zaneophiles would kill to finally see "Tool Time with Eric Zane". Can't wait to see more!

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Thanks for the laughs, @ericzanefbhw, good luck in your future ventures. Everyone knows you were the funniest - the show won't be the same.

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

@fbhw trying to convince us that @ericzanefbhw has left the show. Fellas, April isn't for another 45 days. Ain't foolin' me! #BringBackZane

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Ran into this idiot at a certain home improvement store today (no free rides!). Thanks, @FBHWProducer Joe! @fbhw

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

I myself don't care, @ericzanefbhw, but get ready for listener snark. You're playing the exact best-of's from yesterday. #HatersGonnaHate

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

I feel extra fancy today #justsaying

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

That time @kellytrisch and I saw Macklemore @BWWings. #tbt #PopSomeTags

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

I would totally get the opossum out of our garage myself, babe, but as you know I am extremely allergic to rabies. https://t.co/33P9MOifd3

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Once again @kellytrisch gets to hear her 3 favorite words. Babe? You were right. I guess the dog needed to go out after all. #PublicShaming

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

At 6am we bought three jars of @mcclurespickles & Bloody Mary mix. @kellytrisch is heading out of town and wants to spread the 'good' word!

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Om, @jon_cutting. Om.

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

Awaiting my review scheduled for 1pm. Is this like Siddhartha? I sit long enough without food, water, or praise I win the favor of my boss?

[Mitch Salzman @tblescraps]

#Primeday is like checking the fridge when you're hungry but don't have any food. Every time you open the door it's the same crap inside.