kesa 👻

formerly shedtwt still insane, priv/spam @lynttism reqs ok

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

@CL0WNSP1TT This is the dream truly

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

@CL0WNSP1TT costs One thousand dollars i think you can do whatever you want with it

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

at least last time i had this Fuck ass job i could go home and cut myself about it now i Cannot

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

@vampiricjiji 😭 at most i could see changing it on an especially hot day, but every day is too muchhhh

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

whenever i pass by a mirror i cant help but stare and not in a vain way it's because i'm going What the fuck is that who is that what is that what does that look like trying to process my own face but it doesn't happen

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

@dar1ad3ad i love the colours very gorgina

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

- i'm going to wonder about my gender and what my life could be like transitioned forever unless i actually do it
- I Love Women and i want my entire life to be About Women and i don't know how to do that without being one myself

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

I'm Not going to Die without testosterone but I'm Not Gonna really Enjoy life

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

I have to do Something for the rest of my life.... that's okay and that's better but like that's scary...

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

even though it was completely miserable it scares me that i'm never gonna have my idle rotting Nothing life back

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

@izziewhiskey exactlyyyyyy everything will work out fine eventually... Soon maybe... we got this

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

Three nights of cigarette dreams In a row set me Free.. in other news i move into my apartment on wednesday

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

I'm Not going to Die without testosterone but I'm Not Gonna really Enjoy life

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

i am Now one of those people who can't be alone with my thoughts. i got So used to them before so it was whatever, now i spend most of my time distracted living my life. So whenever i do have time to think. 💘

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

every few months now i have to smoke 1 cigarette to remind myself they're gross and i don't like them

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

having a Male Moment again where i look at bearded men in public and go I am a feeble little woman and I must Die

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

highkey haven't forgiven her for this i hope she explodes

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

slept over @ gf's house with one of our friends & gf's mom made us french toast for breakfast & i asked for Three & friend said she'd have two "like a normal person"

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

the bath has always been so gnasty gnasty but i think that was the moment i realized it wasn't just gross looking but it was actually meaningfully Gross

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

core memory of being in the bath as a kid and an ant fell off the ceiling into the water and i freaked Out and ever since then every bath has felt like There is an ant in my water.. does that make sense..

[kesa 👻 @tboythoma]

i laid down flat in the bath caked millimetres of dead skin and i looked at the ceiling crawling with mould and cobwebs and the fan hanging off the ceiling visibly fuzzy and just went holy shit holy shit holy shit