TBS Horoscope

Totally Believable Serious Horoscopes. Honest.

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[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Sagittarius:
Something big is going to happen today. Or tomorrow. You can buy a lottery ticket or a machine. Either is a good investment. Love is in the air. Unfortunately not the air you will be breathing.

Your lucky numbers are 1, 5 and motherboard.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Capricorn:
A deafening state has it out for you today. Investments are a good idea today. Spend wisely before the brave manchester turns your luck! Romance is blossoming like a gigantic juice!

Your lucky numbers are 6, 3 and waiter.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Sagittarius:
Your sign is in the third phase today. This is important. Today is a bad day to invest. Stock prices will change. Love is in the air. Unfortunately not the air you will be breathing.

Your lucky numbers are 4, 4 and salesclerk.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Taurus:
Something big is going to happen today. Or tomorrow. Save your pennies! Your helicopter is not a safe investment today. Avoid romantic engagements today. Wait for a sign - it will resemble a worried plastic.

Your lucky numbers are 7, 4 and lamp.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Gemini:
Something something you're special and important something something. Today is a bad day to invest. Stock prices will change. Love is in the air. Unfortunately not the air you will be breathing.

Your lucky numbers are 5, 2 and kitchen.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Taurus:
Your sign is in the third phase today. This is important. You can buy a lottery ticket or a soccer. Either is a good investment. Romance is blossoming like a tall country!

Your lucky numbers are 6, 3 and rose.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Aries:
Your sign is in the third phase today. This is important. Investments are a good idea today. Spend wisely before the lazy application turns your luck! You will fall in love with a Pisces but they are in love with their kilobyte.

Your lucky numbers are 5, 6 and joystick.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Virgo:
Meet new people today. Show them your salesclerk. Investments are a good idea today. Spend wisely before the poor tailor turns your luck! Avoid romantic engagements today. Wait for a sign - it will resemble a fat noon.

Your lucky numbers are 9, 8 and hydrogen.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Gemini:
Spend time talking to a Pisces today. They think you are a insect! Investments are a good idea today. Spend wisely before the repulsive father turns your luck! Romance is not in your future today. Avoid it like a wet lizard.

Your lucky numbers are 7, 9 and postman.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Scorpio:
Spend time talking to a Capricorn today. They think you are a salesmen! Consider selling your kite for a good return today. You will fall in love with a Gemini but they are in love with their ad.

Your lucky numbers are 3, 2 and wall.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Scorpio:
Something big is going to happen today. Or tomorrow. You can buy a lottery ticket or a terabyte. Either is a good investment. Avoid romantic engagements today. Wait for a sign - it will resemble a burly guitar.

Your lucky numbers are 9, 6 and hairdresser.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Aquarius:
A melted knife will give you important advice today. Save your pennies! Your artist is not a safe investment today. Love is in the air. Unfortunately not the air you will be breathing.

Your lucky numbers are 7, 5 and lizard.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Libra:
Something something you're special and important something something. Consider selling your oyster for a good return today. Romance is blossoming like a narrow analyst!

Your lucky numbers are 1, 9 and whale.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Pisces:
Today is a bad day for work - instead focus on your caravan. Today is a bad day to invest. Stock prices will change. Romance is blossoming like a flaky oil!

Your lucky numbers are 6, 1 and mother.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Capricorn:
Today is a bad day for work - instead focus on your sweden. Today is a bad day to invest. Stock prices will change. Romance is blossoming like a hollow librarian!

Your lucky numbers are 10, 7 and arm.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Cancer:
Today is a bad day for work - instead focus on your ghost. Consider selling your yak for a good return today. Romance is blossoming like a bewildered sweden!

Your lucky numbers are 10, 4 and accident.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Cancer:
Today is a bad day for work - instead focus on your plumber. Consider selling your balloon for a good return today. Romance is not in your future today. Avoid it like a defeated eve.

Your lucky numbers are 5, 7 and flower.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Taurus:
Something big is going to happen today. Or tomorrow. Consider selling your keyboard for a good return today. Avoid romantic engagements today. Wait for a sign - it will resemble a melodic rainbow.

Your lucky numbers are 3, 5 and morning.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Aquarius:
Meet new people today. Show them your cpu. You can buy a lottery ticket or a student. Either is a good investment. Love is in the air. Unfortunately not the air you will be breathing.

Your lucky numbers are 3, 4 and air.

[TBS Horoscope @tbshoroscope]

Capricorn:
Something big is going to happen today. Or tomorrow. You can buy a lottery ticket or a toothbrush. Either is a good investment. Romance is not in your future today. Avoid it like a antsy mother.

Your lucky numbers are 5, 1 and fountain.