Trent Carpenter 🦚

I like making people laugh

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

2yo: MAMAAAAA MY DINNER IS HOT
Wife: okay, just wait a little bit
Me, under my breath: nobody's forcing you to shovel it in my mouth straight away.
2yo, quietly to herself: I don't even have a shovel........

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

Went to a different McDonald's tonight and gave them another try. Much better, 10/10, everything that I remembered them to be.

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

I was so excited for snack wraps to come back only to be left so so disappointed.....

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

@TeamYouTube Same issue on multiple devices.
App is up to date
No improvement with disabling 5.1 audio
Watching from Ringgold, GA
Only seems to be affecting ABC

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

@YouTubeTV why is the audio quality so poor on ABC but is fine on any other channel? If I watch the stream on the ESPN app, the audio quality is fine there too

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

@LonelyTalegater Touchdown, 2pt, and a field goal?

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

@bradzyy

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

@bradzyy What if I took a blue pill? WILL I STILL BE OKAY?

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

One of my favorite parts of parenting is making wildly inappropriate jokes/innuendos that the kids absolutely WILL NOT understand and watching my wife do the biggest eye roll on record.

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

Husky Harsin about to give Alabama their second unranked season since 2007

[Old Row Sports @OldRowSports]

Only 1 man believed in the Noles today! Written in the stars!

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

@RyanCFowler

[Will Collier @willcollier]

Too much bammer in him

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

If ABC/ESPN could plug in a couple more audio wires, that'd be greaaaaaaat

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

Things have gotten out of hand. There are now extra strength lasers, ice cube beams, and poop......

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

Playing next gen, abstract tic-tac-toe. (Not pictured: lasers)

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

https://t.co/ofIDEnhv5G

[AUBlog @AUBlog]

Inventory will include more than 35,000 items from Auburn’s 21 varsity sports. https://t.co/OSAAnatEjf

[cat @dollshojo]

brazilian women can now get a tubal ligation after age 21 without needing their husband’s approval, a major victory for reproductive rights!

[Trent Carpenter 🦚 @tcarp94]

Conversations with my 4yo

Me: hey kiddo how was your first day of kindergarten?
4yo: it was good!
Me: what did you learn today?
4yo: I learned how to read!
Me: wow, impressive first day