Tom

Hacksaw Jim Duggan once pretended to strangle me.

[Tom @tdawks]

🎶 It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie 🎶

[Tom @tdawks]

@Scientits YUP

[Tom @tdawks]

September.

[Tom @tdawks]

@philgibson01 Yeah!

[Guybrush Tweetgood @philgibson01]

They used to have a transfer window in American football too, but they closed it because of the draft.

[Tom @tdawks]

NOT MUCH, 'SUP WITH YOU?

[Bob Servant @bobservant]

Just voted. Turnout low and polling station staffed entirely by bewildered primary school children. Make of that what you will.

[Tom @tdawks]

@Llia HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! 🎉

[Tom @tdawks]

@mralistairgreen Terrific.

[Tom @tdawks]

@sam_bambs So so sorry to hear this. Sending you all lots of love. X

[Tom @tdawks]

@sam_bambs

[Tom @tdawks]

@glowypanda It IS! THANK YOU!!!! I think it's definitely some kind of bread product, maybe the FREE DOUGHNUT the lads at Lidl are offering me...

[Tom @tdawks]

@sam_bambs OH H*CK

[Tom @tdawks]

@Scientits THANK YOU!! x

[Emma Mitchell 💙 @silverpebble]

My Etsy shop's now open with my jewellery collection:

intricate casts of real flowers & nature finds
& tiny wearable sculptures of British birds
handmade by me in recycled silver.

LIMITED spaces in my order book-once it's full I'll close my shop again:

https://t.co/jni1HtFuyg

[Tom @tdawks]

@squires_david @guardian_sport Brilliant!

[Ipswich Town @IpswichTown]

We are @premierleague.

[Tom @tdawks]

@sam_bambs :/