Brett Lynn Papworth

"Narcissistic and Disturbed" Atheist comedian and improvisor "HR's best kept secret!" Don't need no check mark I know who I am!

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Oh thank the gods I thought it might be a good burger place.

https://t.co/KUxhAU68GN

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Did you ever know someone that got busted doing something that you have done and gotten away with many times, only to feel a sense of great relief it was not you? Yeah, me neither.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

There's a lot of excess in the world and I can definitely say that we do not need a documentary about Jaws the Revenge. Richard Jeni perfectly closed the door on this piece of garbage and it is affront to his memory to be nostalgic about it.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

I hate hypotheticals so when asked what did you always want to do with your life? I usually reply “I just really wanted to take a human life and get away with it.” That usually ends the conversation right there.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

I couldn’t tell you what Michelin starred restaurants are the best but I can tell you Aldi French bread pizza is superior to Stouffers. I think there’s a book in this

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

"Jesus that guy is racist" Andrew Jackson when contacted in the beyond for his thoughts on trump.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

was reading an article where Pam Bondi was quoted as saying "I couldn't have said it better myself" Which when you think about it applies to anything she tries to say.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Just realized a good double feature that explores the comedic dark side of both coasts are Into the Night for the West coast and After Hours for the East coast. #movies #doublefeature

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Young Steve Martin looks like old Harrison Ford

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Forty plus years on and still not many have ever noticed that the guitarist in the I Love LA video is wearing a T shirt where Snow White is getting gang banged by the seven dwarves. Enjoy your Monday!

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

The plus side of fast food being so expensive is it stops me from ordering two half pound beef and cheddars. So you know always look for the positives in life.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Look just because I enjoy eating at Sbarro does not mean anything… and yes maybe I go to the mall just to eat at Sbarro but again NOTHING to be concerned about.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Just let it die already it's never going to get anywhere near San Francisco or LA no matter how much they spend
Lawmaker proposes new funding plan for California’s high-speed rail project https://t.co/MTO2p83BqH

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

I don't know why the right is so upset about cracker barrel changing their logo I'm sure they're still racist, sexist, and mistreat their employees just like they always have.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Therapy is good but I’m not sure my last experience was a good sign. The first session I made the therapist cry.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

To the person that spilled a shit load of paint in their truck making a u turn at Corbin and Ventura then left a trail all the way to Erwin. Well done!

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

First of all in all honesty I love and own may really terrible movies... but there is no way in hell I would ever own Mac and Me in 4K. What the hell is wrong with this world?!?

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

It's only when a piece of shit like Swaggart dies that I wish hell was real. But at least he's dead.

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

Sometimes something as simple as finding MXC is back on Prime can save a dull Sunday

[Brett Lynn Papworth @teambanzai]

I’m pretty sure the beginning of the end times started when Freshen Up gum went away.