•lexi•

i’m actually a teapot

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

@Novinta_Evi lol it’s a scam! They’re trying to get an additional $150 for an “insurance fee”

[Yves ౨ৎ @yvessirae]

everyone is talking about how poor people shouldn’t be allowed to buy junk food with food stamps… i don’t think billionaires should be able to buy 14 year olds on a private island

[positivity moon @arrtnem]

I read those numbers at 12:27 with the oven light on and the rest of the kitchen dark, spooning cold rice from a plastic tub because the pan felt like too much. The screen says 39,416 and 233,604 and my stomach drops the way it does when rent posts at 3:06. It is not a debate. It is the way my jaw tightens in the grocery aisle when eggs jump a dollar and the guy behind me sighs because I put the carton back. It is the daycare waitlist demanding a nonrefundable deposit I do not have. It is the insurance plan with a deductible the size of a summer. It is my friend’s baby registry with a stroller that costs the same as my monthly take home, and the little polite shame that burns when I click “sort by price” and buy a pacifier instead. Love does not lower the bill. No amount of pink confetti makes the math blink.

At 1:41 the spreadsheet sits open like a dare. Column C is childcare quotes. Column D is loan autopay that bites on the 15th, 312 every month like a mosquito you cannot kill. Column E is groceries that smell like onion skins and old bananas. I scroll past gender reveal smoke and nuclear family selfies and tell myself I am not against kids. I am against praying to a landlord and a boss while a tiny person counts on me to keep lights on that flicker. The real birth control is the calculator app

[Martha Ahumuza @MarthaAhumuza]

A child isn’t born to repay you. They didn’t choose to be here. You chose them.

[INTERIOR PORN @INTERIORPORN1]

the entire time I thought this was for a toddler 😂

[Kylie Brakeman @deadeyebrakeman]

you want me to finish a task???? On December 19th???? literally Christmas morning???

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

@5SOST0URUPDATES i quite literally need take my hand and red line to survive

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

@bostonslouis i have a citi card and haven’t been able to get pit - the only ones i saw show up (and disappeared before they’d load to my cart 🙄) were just official platinum

[5 Seconds of Summer @5SOS]

Playing this show for all of you was indescribable and we’re thrilled you can all relive this moment with us over and over again. The Feeling of Falling Upwards – Live from The Royal Albert Hall is yours on April 14th 💙

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

@hescutelatino hart of dixie & gilmore girls are the top 2

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

why do i get so offended when tv shows change their intros? i started season 6 of the resident and immediately screamed “how dare you” at my tv because it was different

[annika @withloveannika]

“the worst they can say is no” okay but that devastates me when it happens

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

when you drag your boyfriend to see 5sos and @Luke5SOS notices him instead of you how do you recover
#TakeMyHandConcord

[Luke Hemmings @Luke5SOS]

RT if Take my hand

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

@fearlessxangelx @fourlokolou stand up is literally top tier are you oky

[抱きしめる @F41rygirl]

*calling him bro even tho u in love with him*

[𝓔𝓿𝓮 @earthangeleve]

covid in the air. jobs not paying 3x the rent. apartments are $1400. we are in HELL.

[•lexi• @teapotlexi]

@zquadxharrie25 #1 every year 😭