squidward tortellini

♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☣️💎🥀keep it PLUR ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ she/her

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Stop posting every detail of your life, big or small, before it actually happens. Stay silent until you really got it in the bag. People out there are sending negative energy and tryna fuck up your happiness.

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

@31501943528 If she starts doing substances in the middle of the night instead of going back to sleep, I fear she really needs help

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

I’m old

[killua 🚮 @itbabytae]

genuinely what does the ot in ot7 actually stand for? does everyone know but me?

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Guy at the drive thru window called me boss AND big dog

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

@liftbyIron It helps with fat loss and I feel it even helps with energy

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Endometriosis is crazy because I’m supposed to tell my boss that I need a break to myself because my asshole is spasming

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

@farzapwho HUGE for college farz

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Officially deleted indeed off my phone

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Does anyone else not mind eating their leftover Mac n cheese cold… mmm

[(parody) BILL NYE THO @Bill_Nye_Tho]

can't be discussing butterfly shit with caterpillars

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

My white boss said she needed “WE-40” but she clearly meant WD-40 and now I’m trying not to cry

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

I saw miss moon on my drive this morning and thought she was so precious for wanting to stay out long enough to see the sun rise… she’s just like me fr

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

@biigrem You’ll never see me scan cilantro as cilantro ever again 🤫

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

@spvnishjoint LMFAOOOO

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Bf and I have been talking for a while about how epic our life will be once we get an air fryer and yesterday I found a perfectly functioning one at a yard sale for free

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Nothing like a good lemon ginger tea for the bloat after a wedding

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Getting cold enough to wear my fenty pullover but my boyfriend calls it the fentanyl sweater so I don’t whip it out anymore LSKDFJDH

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

@_teapain Bless UP. A year ago I was putting heavy mileage on my car, wiping feces off a wheelchair for minimum wage and now I work in 2 of my dream settings in the best facilities in my area

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

And now my tweet won’t send so I’ll take it as a sign LMAO

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Okay so I’m gonna do it

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Chat should I work 58 hours a week with 1 day resulting in 15 hours of working or is that clinically insane

[squidward tortellini @tearsofmidna]

Time and time again, life loves to show that things don’t work out because there is ALWAYS something better waiting for you