Taryn Bartolotta

Hummingbird & Peony Boutique Owner

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

PA: Don’t worry Trump, we got you.

Philly: Hold my beer.

#DumpTrump #KeepCounting

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Overheard at the gas station today:

“Well I don’t care if he does have COVID, you tell him to KISS MY ASS.”

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Nudist Neighbor took his blinds down.
Why I’ll never know, but now I am once again privy to the inner workings of his bathroom routine.

If anyone needs me I’ll be removing my retinas for the remainder of the evening.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

Here are the weekends highlights:

1. Natty Light is the King of Beers - a drunk
2. PIIIIIZZZZZZZZAAAAA! - additional drunk
3. Kim K vs. Kylie - heated debate, two Moms
4. WAP, definition & discussion - teenagers, duh
5. Best NJ Beach - near fistfight, AC won

#coviddiaries

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

The heat & humidity broke and so I opened my windows to enjoy it. Based on the insipid conversation I overheard I was quickly reminded why I keep them shut 24/7.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

There is a new sign at my dog park that reads,
“There is no Poo Fairy. If you poop, pick it up.”

I’m sure they meant if the DOG poops.
I hope they meant if the dog poops...

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Do you remember Mr. Karen’s FBI bumper sticker?
Apparently his son owns the Jeep.

He’s 5’3” and resembles a Yeti.
I would imagine the Hummer is a stretch there my friend.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Upon reentering the world this morning after a Labor Day weekend spent with family, I encountered a Jeep parked in front of my house with this bumper sticker on the back:

“It’s a Jeep. If I wanted a Hummer I’d ask your sister.”

Keep it classy, Philly.

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

I’m not sure what look I was going for with any of these. Suffice to say there must have been, at the bare minimum, copious amounts of alcohol involved in my fashion sense back then.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Today I began the great closet purge of 2020...
So far I have found an old pair of Jnco Jeans that are so wide I could probably hide a family underneath them, a velvet mock neck bodysuit and a pair of nylon hot pink women’s cargo pants.

#coviddiaries #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

He is rinsing the bottles out and drying them in his backyard, which is super fun. I do love the sound of drunk Buxom stumbling around and knocking them all over every five minutes. It’s just magical.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Neighbor Anthony has begun going through all of our recycling each week. Apparently he’s building something & needs empty bottles, and I could care less if he takes my trash.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

At the gas station today I noticed a sign attached at the pump. It read “Who Wants Hot Chicks?” & had a picture of a new chicken sandwich.

I haven’t decided yet if the person who designed that ad is the worst ever or quite possibly a genius.

#coviddiaries

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

In line at the liquor store today, the woman in front of me kept turning around and looking at my cart.

First off, I live with a teenager.
Second, yes - I had enough for a cart Karen.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Buxom has recently decided that bras are unnecessary while out & about.

That’s all I have to say about that.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries, Day 137:

While doing my daily dog walks today I passed a car sitting at a red light which had streamers hanging from the rear bumper and this message in the window:

“Just Marred”

Epic fail or Freudian Slip? You decide.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

If I fail to post tomorrow, send help. She may succeed this evening.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

I’m fairly certain my dog is plotting my assassination.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

She has taken to leaving her mangled nylon chew toys in the hallway upstairs, that way when I get up to pee in the dead of night and step on one I inevitably scream, slam into the wall and ram my knee into the banister.

#coviddiaries #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine

[Taryn Bartolotta @tebinphilly]

COVID Diaries:

Nudist neighbors pool canopy is still up & growing a substantial carpet of algae where rainwater has collected.

He seems not to mind the algae or the smell of stagnant water as he stands under it enveloped in smoke while he bbq’s. In his speedos.

#coviddiaries