teddie mercury

limewire pirate

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

Chrome Hearts is this generation’s Ed Hardy

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

it's my sister's birthday so i looked up the celebrities that were also born today and it all makes so much sense

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

Why are all heavy chewer dog toys so ugly 😩

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

for all the weird slang that we wholeheartedly adopt i’m glad we universally decided that 67 was too dumb and cringe

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

0 likes won't stop me from posting i will talk to myself

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

so sorry to the diet coke cult but

coke zero >>>>>>>> diet coke

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

“no one wants to hear about your dream” okay yeah let’s just keep talking about whatever ur job is guy

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

yall tweetering

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

my valentine is the “skip intro” button and she’s never let me down

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

valentine’s day: the superbowl of soft launching, hard launching, and emergency deleting

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

valentine’s day is just a reminder that my soulmate is probably also avoiding people at home

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

being single on valentine’s day is just premium people-watching

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

february 14th: when men discover reservations exist and women discover the bar is in hell

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

grew up in the mountains and ain’t nobody yodeling… what a waste.

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

i wanna like blueberries but they need to get their damn act together

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

ur telling me we can only make straws that last two seconds or forever???? no in between???!??!

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

football discourse is just saying “that was crazy” in slightly different tones for four hours

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

my favorite team is whoever just scored five seconds ago

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

me loudly agreeing with whichever opinion sounds smartest in the moment

[teddie mercury @teddiemercury]

people saying “huge momentum shift” every six minutes like it’s a weather report