°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷°

🌸relapsed :) hw 116kg cw 96.7gw 80kg ugw 60kg 🌸 height-5’8- 173cm

18+ no minors🤍

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

NOBODY MOVE I DID IT (kg) im finally under 100!!! Finally back in the double digits omg

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Can you see the difference? I feel like I’m being delusional

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

If you binge under ur bmr is it still a binge

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

The constipation this fucking disorder gives me is unbearable but at least once it’s gone I lose like 2kg overnight I GUESS

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Bro I either loose 3 kg a week or I maintain for 2 weeks. I hate it here

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

@De4dGrrrl Oh hey don’t get me wrong I’m very much pro recovery it’s just that recovery means you have to accept that people will always see you /that/way

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

I totally understand the messaging here and it is important but it pales in comparison to how it feels to understand the difference in how you’re treated when you’re fat

[envy! @De4dGrrrl]

This meme legit makes me wanna move forward and continue recov. What does it matter to eat and gain weight.

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Inaccurate bc sometimes ur almond mum has the be the skinniest person in every room and encourages you to get fatter and basically sabotages u

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Suuuuper vulnerable here but there’s 10kg between these. 115.9kg- 105.9kg. (173cm tall ) Took me 2 months
There’s next to no difference but the scales still changing at least

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Lost a kg over night I love this for me I’m so happy

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

@saillanss Please

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Like personally I hate the idea that I know some people who I already have in my life will want me only when I’m thin. It feels so disingenuous and fake. I can’t brand myself fat but if they didn’t want me then why should they deserve me when I’m thin?

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Genuine question I really want answers to, if one of ur main motivations to starve is to feel loveable and or confident enough to have sex and all that does it bother you when people you knew when you were fat change their tune when you’re thin?

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Genuine question I really want answers to, if one of ur main motivations to starve is to feel loveable and or confident enough to have sex and all that does it bother you when people you knew when you were fat change their tune when you’re thin?

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

I don’t want a boyfriend or anything I just want to be loved and appreciated fo something other than my appearance. But I want to feel pretty too? I haven’t felt pretty in a long time

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

Gonna vent for a bit in the comments because this fucking disorder sucks ass if anyone cares

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

All day all I think about is my cal limit and what I can “afford”

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

I miss enjoying food and I know this’ll jsut be my life becaue although I feel everything above sincerely I can’t let myself go back to how I was because it just repulses me so muc

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

I feel so fucking ugly I wish I was as delusional as I was before I relapsed

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

This has destroyed my social life I’ve barely left my apartment for months because I’m too embarrassed about what I look like

[°✷ 🎀 𝒯𝑒𝒹𝒹𝓎𝓉𝓌𝓉 🎀 ✷° @teddtwt]

I upped my intake to 1k cals because I can’t fucking function on less than that but the GUILT over raising it from 6/800 to 1k is unreal.