TJ Norton

Can, but will not, eat mulch.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

People who are afraid of commitment commit awfully hard to not committing.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

@olivelorraine_ Puppy is pretty! So work so hard

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

So grateful I didn’t choke to death on my salmon salad tonight. Not even close.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

I’m having a great day except when I cough it hurts my armpit.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

Side note: sitting in a basin full of water is very gay.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

Internalized homophobia is trying to hide all the evidence that I just took a bath.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

Latest COVID update: I now take three showers a day.

[Peyton Fleming @BAEtonfleming]

*Paul Hollywood smushes my brain with his meaty fingers*

PAUL: it’s raw

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

@grantlattanzi All weather is sweater weather if you’re wearing a sweater.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

@urdaddymaddy I’m so honored to be exactly this man.

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

@BAEtonfleming That adds up

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

This turkey tastes like roast beef.

[Noho Hank @DevynsTweets]

Remember when I used to live in Los Angeles and not on my couch

[🫒 @olivelorraine_]

the bourne identity starring me

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

If you’re not living up to your potential, the good news is you probably have a lot of it!

[🫒 @olivelorraine_]

this is how peacefully u sleep when u don’t know the concept of success

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

@ParrishSal26 I will seriously order you one right now.

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

There is no form of protest against racism that is acceptable to racists.

[jillian. @jillebean96]

Me, in the fetal position, weeping to schitts creek, stone cold sober

[TJ Norton @teejaynorton]

Today I could have killed a cockroach with my roommate’s shoe and instead I used my own. People really can change.