General Dogsbody!

Partner to Karann and father to Dylan, Alfie and Charlie. Wantage Oxfordshire. former truck driver now desk bound and loving it.

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@roddady ey up maaaaaaaaate!
You still about?

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@elonmusk Is that not how the US government works already?
You thick fuck!

[Gary Neville @GNev2]

They partied , they bet on elections , they crashed the economy, they broke every public service, they destroyed integrity and honesty in public office , they paid their mates billions , they put their friends in the House of Lords, they gave their cronies knighthoods, they went into the jungle , they lied again and again, they were convicted by police, they went on holiday when they shouldn’t and they have the cheek to question Keir Starmer’s work ethic. I would never take anything for granted but I hope they are annihilated on Thursday. The worst people and government we have ever had!

P.S good afternoon all 😊❤️

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@elonmuskADO No X is a load of shite as there doesn’t seem to be a word to replace “tweet” so we just say “tweeted on X” which is crap.
Sorry Elon

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

I would love to go on a nice holiday this year so I’ve been running the figures and I reckon that I can comfortably afford to spend an afternoon in august sat on my sofa - all inclusive (as long as I don’t want to eat, drink, sleep or go to the toilet)

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@premierleague @ManCity How the hell was Stone’s goal allowed even though a Liverpool player was clearly obstructed but Van Dyke’s goal was disallowed just a week or so ago for the exact same reason?
A bit of consistency needed!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@Jobi180 You’re the only one that works there!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@SuellaBraverman why are you accusing the Met of favouritism because they are allowing a demonstration? Surely this is a legal protest and therefore allowed (by law) You as home secretary should at least have some grasp of the law!
These are the rights that people died for!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

I’m no expert on world affairs but surely the wholesale bombing of Gaza by Israel is totally unacceptable?
It amounts to nothing more than punishing the whole class because of a single student…….but with murder!
I know this is a simplistic analogy but you get the idea!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@sainsburys if you want to stop theft from your stores maybe you should have people on checkouts. If you want me to be an unpaid member of staff then you should trust me to use the self scan stuff not make your stores harder to get out of than a fucking timeshare agreement!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@ITV @GordonRamsay @ITVX @Ginofantastico @fredsirieix1 Unfortunately the whole program is ruined for me by just how much of a fucking big headed arsehole Gordon really is!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@tompetty Free falling - my favourite ever song.
However how are you tweeting (or whatever the fuck this is called now) from beyond the grave?

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@netflix is there any chance you could do me a solid & cancel Sweet Magnolias? It is awful- my wife loves it but surely no one is that saccharine sweet let alone a whole sodding town and it’s entire population.
Ps don’t get me started on the colonel sanders kfc southern accents!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

@Schofe you had an affair-so what? With a man-so what? In the great scheme of things it doesn’t matter.
Chin up mate…..you’ll be ok

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

Whatever happened to Monkey Pox - or that thing that gave everyone small heads?
Don’t hear anything about them nowadays……

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

I’m going to sound like a philistine but I have just seen an item on the news about the Tate gallery and some Artist was talking about her exhibit which was some oil barrels - someone needs to say to her that they are just oil barrels! Talk about the emperors new bloody clothes!

[Boring Milner @BoringMilner]

I just said to Joe Gomez What's that in your pocket, Joe? He said Ohhh that's Haaland. Then he asked me What was in my pocket? I said Ohh that's Foden. It was so funny.

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

people are moaning as flights cancelled due to French air traffic controllers going on strike. Personally I think that’s a good idea…..if baggage handlers were on strike I’d be like “fuck it, I’ll buy some pants and a t-shirt when I get there” ATCs on strike……..no t so much!

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

A sad sad day…….rest in peace your majesty x

[General Dogsbody! @telbelcher]

When governments say they will spend a billion pounds on this and a billion on that - if you were able to earn £1 a second then you would have a £1 million in less that 2 weeks…….but it would take 32 years to have £1 billion!
Let that sink in.