bee, with a knife 🔞

bee - they/them - comms closed.

no kids in the hot tub.

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@RavenXavier11 @freetobeproble1 Elias, sitting in his prison cell: I'm in danger

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

now I'm thinking about anchorite jon... would work very well in S4, he's afraid of how dangerous he's becoming so Basira and Melanie lock him into Document Storage, cutting a hole into the door with a window so they can push in food and water...

[nico ☭🔻 @strongerpotions]

first day of fall obligatory hugh dancy carrying pumpkins post

[Cards Against Humanity @CAH]

@elonmusk In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks https://t.co/f8RomB9TP9

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

lrt that's it. that's the hucow fic

[wormvermin ❤️‍🔥🔞🍉 @wormvermin]

Milking time 🥛🐄🌸

[miko 🦭 @meekoloveseals]

lil baby.. silly lil goober ... you are traveling through the snow like a adventurer..

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

fun weevil fact of the day

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

alternately, Jon could be a baikal seal, which weigh in at roughly 150 pounds, a much more reasonable number though sadly he wouldn't be able to rip out throats very well

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

selkie jon is both incredibly fun to consider and deeply hilarious to me. you're telling me that scrawny twink puts on a fur blanket and turns into a 700 pound carnivore??

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@ContraryClio Oh yes, and it's absolutely Martin's fault that Jon got caught in the first place, so it's only fair that Jon plots a way to get HIM caught in seal form, too. (It has nothing to do with looking for an excuse to pat Martin amd feed him fish, of course.)

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

selkie jmart but they're both selkies so they just bark at each other really loudly

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@ContraryClio It does get a bit awkward when Tim and Sasha start speculating that they're a mated pair trying to have pups in central London, for some reason. Tim makes a joke about them being spooky supernatural seals and Jon and Martin both start nervously sidling toward the door

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@ContraryClio Sasha puts up little cameras in the hopes of figuring out how the fuck a seal keeps getting in, so Jon and Martin take the opportunity to put on a little show (chasing each other around). They come in the next day to Sasha yelling about TWO WHOLE SEALS IN THE ARCHIVES!!!

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@ContraryClio Martin is promptly blamed for the seal getting in, despite his protests. Tim comments that it's a good thing Jon isn't around to see it or he'd freak out (Jon gives Martin a very long-suffering Look at this. Martin pats his head, grinning, then whips his hand back to avoid teeth)

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@ContraryClio GOD. it turns into a competition to see which of them can push it furthest without Tim and Sasha figuring them out... Jon gets caught in his seal form at some point and has to suffer the mortifying ordeal of being cooed at and fed fish from Martin's lunch (he's secretly pleased)

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@ContraryClio they wait until Tim and Sasha can't see them... there are rumors of ghost seals in the archives

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

thinking about Jon getting home and immediately pulling up Martin's shirt and shoving his face directly into Martin's cleavage after a difficult day (martin laughs at him and pats his head)

[🔞 arp: wereshrew admirer @Agent_Heard]

🐝💞🐀: they have a good time together!

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

@asthejayfucks LOL not tonight but soon, now that my brief vacation into the virtual arctic is complete

[bee, with a knife 🔞 @telbitafterdark]

alright. finished frostpunk 2. back to the usual bullshit