Not your manic pixie dream girl

She/her

Just a poorly constructed IKEA project.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Am I Instacarting to avoid walking to the grocery?

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Why do I always end up with the noisy upstairs neighbors?

They're either moving furniture or riverdancing.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

WIllie Nelson has been the same age my whole life.

I blame the weed.

[‏ً @itsnwts]

My husband cheated on me ONCE. One time in seven years together, and suddenly I was expected to “hear him out” and “work through it” because “people make mistakes.” But when I packed my things and left, I became the villain for not forgiving him fast enough.

A year later, he still tells people I “threw away” our marriage over one mistake, like seven years of loyalty from me meant nothing the moment he decided to betray it.

Funny how betrayal is called a mistake when men do it, but a woman is branded a monster forever.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Can we dropkick whoever it was that told Donald Trump spraytanning looked good on him.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Vape pod is acting up. I feel like vapes are all built to annoy the hell out of you.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@AbortionChat And vagina means "sheath."

What's the point of the Latin lesson?

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

It's a shame I'm so cute but totally insane.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@4NonyaBusiness @LifeNewsToo

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Alice Cooper is good.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@4NonyaBusiness @LifeNewsToo

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

I am SICK of pulled pork now.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@4NonyaBusiness @StevenErtelt I would have gotten kicked out of where I was staying.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Burger and fries for dinner. Because I need a break from pulled pork and pork chops.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@mr_JasonW @AbortionChat Were you there?

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@AbortionChat We're the literate ones. lol.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@manabrownies All I can knit is scarves. That and most of my yarn got thrown away in a cat related incident. So like...idk. I'm so sad about the yarn.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

I quit...

No more knitting. The world has enough v scarves.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

@4NonyaBusiness @March_for_Life They're already trying to do that.

[Not your manic pixie dream girl @tempusfrangit]

Vroom broom.