Terah Williams

Is that ice cream? ... Can I have some?

[Shayne Topp @supershayne]

A cool trick I learned in Vegas is if you play Dark Magician during a game of blackjack they will take you to a special room where they will beat the shit out of you.

[Temu Drive jacket scorpion w/ dick and balls @rasta_dad]

*At the shops*
Idiot millenial: "duhhh can I have a million dollars of avocado"
Me (smiling wisely): "One house please".

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Cancer Patient Harasses Poor Little Insurance Company Into Covering Bill https://t.co/Xj9qWvXod8

[Shayne Topp @supershayne]

Imagine how much PTO Sisyphus has accrued by now

[RollmanInOz @Rollmaninoz]

Judge: and how does the defendant plead
Lawyer: like this your honor *makes whiny voice *nooo I didn’t do any crimes*
Judge: HAH do it again

[Granny @DEARGRANNY]

do Australians say lmaour

[Terah Williams @terahbytes]

@tdubs133 I'm not even mad, that's amazing!

[Greg Parody Account @How2Drink]

I’m not usually a “repost from TikTok” guy but hot damn Jesus fuck

[danlet @evildanevil]

You brake checked me. I’m holding an open beer and you brake checked me

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

since we can't use those beer rings anymore i've been choking turtles with my bare hands

[Terah Williams @terahbytes]

@tdubs133 EXACTLY!!

[ponyo @13gbenita]

I want to be 14 again so I can ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

[yo⁷ 요섭 @yosub]

hey (with the intention to cancel a meeting)

[Cody Johnston @drmistercody]

Congratulations to Chris Pratt.

[Asher Perlman @asherperlman]

Just once, I want the opportunity to dramatically swipe everything off a table to make room for a giant map that I'll use to explain the plan

[Anthony Carboni @acarboni]

Please don’t advertise to me I buy everything I see and I am out of money

[lauren badillo milici @motelsiren]

you’re all nickelback haters until ‘how you remind me’ comes on at the bar at 2 am