Terry Espy

Husband of one. Father of seven. Master of none.

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@pizzahut Oh, and the order was incomplete. 3.5 hrs and incomplete.

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@pizzahut needs better local customer service. Overworked teens hang up and don't have time to address exceptions/problems.

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@pizzahut Arrived 9:04.
Driver apologized said he was called in to deliver. Wouldn't let me pay. I tipped him. He gave me the name of Ms Elia to talk to during office hours.
Thank you for following up.
That store has a real problem.

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@pizzahut you have a problem in Cordova, TN store.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: Do I have to change my name if I get married?

Me: Only if you want to.

5: Call me Shredder.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

My brother proposed to his girlfriend.

She's Chinese, so he learned to ask her in Mandarin.

When she answered, he stared at her blankly.

He forgot to learn the words for "yes" and "no."

[Russell Moore @drmoore]

.@BillHaslam I've said it before and I'll say it again, Governor @BillHaslam is the best governor in America. He proved it once more today.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: I'm glad I got married. Everyone needs a sidekick.

Wife: Good point, Robin.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

6-year-old: How come Chewbacca doesn't wear clothes?

Me: He's covered in hair.

6: So are you.

Me: He doesn't have a wife to make him.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

6-year-old: *points to sister* She's not dressed yet!

Me: Worry about yourself.

6: I can worry for both of us.

Sister level: Mom

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Just because two opinions are different doesn’t mean one is wrong.

Unless you’re arguing with your wife.

Then yours is wrong.

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@scott_mcfarland https://t.co/V9tKTmKaob

[Popular Mechanics @PopMech]

Hey Cool, You Can Buy a Hot Rod Jeep Crate Engine From Walmart Now https://t.co/0BoJWzh3vU

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@scott_mcfarland @CBurris_15

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

We be Merry Christmas-ing.

[POLITICO @politico]

How the Left created Trump https://t.co/thCbwUXyde via @POLITICOMag | AP Photo

[𝐎. 𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞 @TheAlanNoble]

Ok, I'm going to say a few things about @drmoore. Maybe they will be dismissed because I'm also "out of touch," but they need to be said:

[Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog]

Liberals this is very simple — you lost because Hillary Clinton is objectively terrible https://t.co/V4CD0LXT2D

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@CBurris_15 https://t.co/uoBTQx7y9b

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: I hate chicken tenders.

Me: They’re exactly like chicken nuggets.

4: Then why don’t you just buy chicken nuggets?

Touché.

[Terry Espy @terryespy]

@scott_mcfarland @CBurris_15 https://t.co/EfCvouNDQS

[Russell Moore @drmoore]

Some of my thoughts on the presidential debate and what election 2016 means for Christians: https://t.co/abHs0bdxv9