Texas Tay

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

I venmoed my bf money for coffee this morning, and told him “this coffee is not a present, its so that you take a picture of it and post it on your story thanking me” he buys the coffee, and drank it. No post, do I call the police??

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

If Sketchers didn’t put their name so loud on their shoes I might actually consider buying them 😑

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

After not seeing my sweet boyfriend for a month, I walked with him to his class, went in for a kiss AND THE BOY turns his face and it lands upon his cheek.

Have fun with the silent treatment kiddo.

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

And now this, you really get a good sense who I am by these things. Toppers Top Fan. Pls send the free pizza to Austin Tx @ToppersPizza

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

Me: I don’t care how much country music changes, I will NEVER appreciate it

Me as soon as Lil Nas X starts merging rap and country:

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

Transition lenses really are the best of both world’s. All Todd needs is a parrot on his shoulder and a peg for a leg arggg ☠️ 🏴‍☠️ 🦜

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

My boyfriend likes to post cute pictures of us on his instagram stories. 😍

*peep his profile picture while you’re at it*

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

To the 5 coworkers that were appaled at me for ordering 4 tacos... Yes, you might see me as Tiny Tay but I’m also Taco Tay so mind ya’ own damn business. Taco Tuesday? More like Taco TuesTay!

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

I’m actually embarrassed, but at the same time honored.

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

Spam mail can get weird sometimes, might stay subscribed to this one a bit longer. Yay or ney?

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

Pop songs from 2012 creepin’ up and finally making sense to me. Thanks Katy Perry, I was belting those lyrics 7 years ago and now I’m feeling them

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

I can eat 3 breakfast tacos in 2 minutes, but I guess thats why its called breakfast and not breakslow 🤷🏼‍♀���

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

@bjesssie There’s a big chance of that happening, do not back down, keep a shoe in reach at all times

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

This hangover is causing my anxiety to be so bad that for a moment there I actually understood why Britney Spears shaved her head.

Don’t do it Taylor, don’t do it.

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

Can’t come up with an April Fools joke? Think of your boyfriend’s biggest insecurity and USE THAT. That will go over well. Btw Brazillian’s don’t celebrate April Fools... whoops 😬 #AprilFoolsJerk

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

I lied to my boyfriend and told him I’ve never seen nor heard of The Lion King. And EVEN though I told him it was a joke, he cannot believe I’ve never seen the Lion King (ignore the spelling mistakes on Hakuna Matada)

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

Once in a while I’ll tell people that I walk up 4 flights of stairs everyday at work. And they say something along the lines of “wow” and then I say “how do you think I maintain this perfect physique?” And in response to that? They laugh.

And I think thats rude of them.

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

My vote goes to the first politician that promises to send out of state driving instructors to Florida. This is an epidemic #StopFlorida2020

[Texas Tay @TFred56]

You know they warn you... they say one day you’re gunna be thinking “oh god, I’m becoming my Mother” BUT NO ONE TOLD ME THAT I WOULD ACTUALLY BECOME JUST LIKE MY FATHER 😱😭😭😭