The Funny Spot

Our only mission is to make at least one person smile, laugh, or lart (laugh-fart).

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

How's your day going? Here's a good way to tell: Is it "already" 2:00pm or "only" 2:00pm? @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

"You the bomb" "No you the bomb" Kind gesture in America, Argument in the Middle East. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

A procrastinator's work is never done...

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

Just saw a guy check out my wife. Good luck, dude. I don't even have a chance with her and I'm MARRIED to her. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

Someone complimented my summer tan today & was too embarrassed to tell them- At this age, it's my liver spots connecting.

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

If I were a cannibal, I'd work at a tanning salon. That way my dinners would cook themselves. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

I want catnip to be planted over my grave. Then, all the cemetery cats will hang around there n ppl will think I was some kind of cat god.

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

I won't say I did some terrible things last night, but Lindsay Lohan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me.

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

I bet blind people don't skydive because it would scare the shit out of their dog. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

The iPhone 5c, named after the hourly pay rate of its assemblers. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

The iPhone's like d fast & furious movies. They're up to 6 and it doesn't look like they'll stop puttin them out even if its the same thing.

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

How awkward it would be fr the Pro Football Team in San Francisco if that gold rush would happened 20 years later @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

here's my dog, I call him Snoop. I love him, do you? @ http://t.co/rlJ3uJmcrn

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

This vodka tastes a lot like I'm not going into work tomorrow. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv

[The Funny Spot @th3funnyspot]

Somebody needs to start a dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility. @ http://t.co/Yb5uBvagqv