Shit Cory Says

I'm fucking hilarious

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

It's like a dollar a bone

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

I feel something in my legs but that's about it

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

"Why are they called sweet potato fries"
S: "bc they're made from sweet potatoes"
"But they're not made out of french"

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

We got real Ireland last night

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Shell get blue lips

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Its PMF...pure fucking magic

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Fiance: "my feet are cold"
Cory: "put them under the king roots"
*referring to his legs

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Dude, black Friday is coming up

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

*puts cheese and pickles on an English muffin*
"I call this, a pickle and cheese sandwich"

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

The rain has a sound

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Abusement

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Friend “what are you doing tn”
Cory “I’m testing out these Chinese fireworks my dad gave me before people come over, shit shot goes boom”

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

I’m going to the cape cod

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Shane: “I’m not a big party guy anymore”
Cory: “me either”
Fiancé: 😂
Cory: 😂

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

I hate pdf

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

She’s white, how does she know that language

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

No it tastes like quarters

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

My hair is organic, straight out of the hair holes

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

“I could go for a brain freeze”
“Who says that?”-fiance
“I want my brain cold and my heart warm”

[Shit Cory Says @thashitcorysays]

Fiddle me that