You have to be extremely self aware for this as a man. You have to have the ability to sit with very uncomfortable truths about your parents, esp your father as a man, a husband & a parent. This is a very uncomfortable & disturbing process, given most men are avoidants!
All organizations, no matter how democratic, decentralized, or egalitarian they start out, will eventually and inevitably be ruled by a small elite (an oligarchy). Why? Because large groups cannot make fast, decisive moves. To get anything done, the group must delegate power to a small committee. That committee gains specialized knowledge, controls the flow of information, and eventually cares more about maintaining its own power than helping the group.
Every group you belong to, a company, a friend circle, a local association, is quietly being run by two or three people behind the scenes, regardless of who has the official titles. If you want to move the needle, stop talking to the crowd. Figure out who the functional elite are, understand what they want, and deal with them directly.
In sociology, this what we call "The Iron Law of Oligarchy"
The Kenyan music industry is so small, it's a small circle of mutuals. If you're actively in it, you're two people away from doing drugs with your favorite artist.
I’m amazed at people who are addicted to consuming content that triggers them.
Can never be me. If the algorithm starts to move weird, I immediately start pushing the “not interested” and “show less content like this” buttons.
Of all human qualities, intelligence is relatively common. Much rarer are the character traits that make intelligence useful: curiosity, humility, and agency.
Tweeted it before: “silent treatment” or “ghosting” is when you reach out to someone and they ignore you.
If you don’t reach out and they don’t either, that’s not ‘ghosting’ & you’re not a victim.