Derrick Collins

This bio is long overdue for an update.

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Well wasn't that just the cutest little tiny thunderstorm 🌩️

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Just saw a guy pull into the abandoned property next door and take a shit behind a bush.

Hey, when you gotta go , you gotta go. But it was an odd choice, considering there are three open convenience stores within blocks of here

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

I can't believe that younger me thought it would be cool to work downtown.

It fucking SUCKS

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Tubi is kinda cooking lately. These free services are almost getting good enough to cancel the paid ones.

Almost.

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

@MunchlaxRx @McDonalds Oof, my dude. Just oof. If you're gonna troll, at least be good at it 😅

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Just had the smallest, toughest, most ligament-filled filet I've ever seen in a chicken sandwich.

Thanks @McDonalds
🙄

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

TIL that making a good soup requires more than just throwing together meat/veggies/broth/flavoring.

Now please excuse me while I dutifully eat my crockpot full of bland slop, because I'm poor and enduring bad food is better than being wasteful 🤷‍♂️

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

When potential employers ask those "Tell me about a time when..." questions in interviews, I think they're really just seeing how good you are at bullshiting under pressure

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

My allergies are going crazy this year.

Which is weird, because I've literally never had allergies before in my life

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

The wind is so crazy outside right now that it's causing the water in my toilet to ripple and undulate

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

I'm still bad at picking sizes for online grocery orders.

Which is why I now have to eat tacos using tortillas the size of pie crusts.

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

I really need to pay attention to sizes when I build my weekly Walmart order. I keep ordering travel size toothpaste and shit.

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Fuuuuuck Snapchat for continually defaulting to the front facing camera every time I open the app, even though I set it not to.
Fuck Snapchat TO DEATH

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

@les_mull Yeah I rewatched last year and it knocked me off the wagon for bit

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Lol what a dumb complaint. It's called suspension of disbelief, Derrick. Fkn nerd.

Anyway, I just finished #TheRighteousGemstones. Parts of the final season felt rushed but a damn good show overall.

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

I love the way this show uses flashbacks, but they really should have used different child actors for the different time periods. These Gemstone kids look exactly the same in the year 2000 as they did in 1989, and that makes no sense.

#TheRighteousGemstones

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Just got turned down for a job I'm hyper qualified for, because "They felt as if the work volume didn't land well".

Uhh okay. Not fully sure what that means. But they are the ones who explained the job. So if it "didn't land", isn't that on THEM? 🤔

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Growing up is realizing that Back to the Future: Part II is actually the worst movie in the trilogy (but it's still my favorite).

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

I love the way this show uses flashbacks, but they really should have used different child actors for the different time periods. These Gemstone kids look exactly the same in the year 2000 as they did in 1989, and that makes no sense.

#TheRighteousGemstones

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Yep, it turned out kinda bad.

But to be fair, I made some questionable ingredient substitutions. So I'll take the blame on this one.

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

About to try a Grok-recommended recipe, please pray for me

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

About to try a Grok-recommended recipe, please pray for me

[Derrick Collins @thatderrickc]

Even the commercials sucked this year.

#SuperBowl