This is my pattern: emotional stress -> triggers mast cells -> mast cells dump histamine -> inflammation -> exact same crash as physical exertion. #longcovid
one of the most misunderstood AUTISTIC questions is:
"How long will it take?"
I'm usually not asking because I'm impatient.
I'm asking because my brain needs to know which mode to switch into.
Is this a 5-minute wait where I stay mentally parked right here?
Or a 2-hour wait where I can move on and focus on something else?
The answer changes how I organize my attention.
I'm not rushing you.
I'm trying to prepare myself.
Living with chronic illness often means making trade offs.
Every “yes” usually means saying “no” to something else.
Going to dinner tonight?
Maybe tomorrow is spent in bed.
Clean the house?
The grocery store might have to wait.
See friend this weekend?
Don’t expect much from yourself on Monday.
Sometimes the hardest decision isn’t what to do. It’s what to give up.
If you plan to be together a LONG TIME, get more comfortable saying these ↓
1. "My tone was bad just now. Sorry. You didn't deserve that. Let me try again."
And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching Netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop caring how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping properly. You stop eating right. You stop going outside. You stop seeing people.
You just stop with everything.
You find yourself sitting in your room for hours, doing nothing. Days start to feel the same. Time doesn’t really feel like time anymore.
And you start wondering how long you can keep going like this.
no one talks about how draining it is when your mood is constantly switching between "its okay, i don't care. I'll be okay" and "I don't know how much more I can take"
Neurotypicals: Just do a little each day!
ADHDers: Best I can do is nothing for 6 days followed by 14 hours of hyperfocus fueled by panic, whims, and vibes
If an ADHDer says "I forgot" what we often mean is:
I remembered five times, but at the wrong times, I fully planned to do it, but I felt too overwhelmed, I shamed myself so much for not doing it that I didn't do it.
ADHD people trying their absolute best not to interrupt your traumatic story with a similar traumatic story about themselves as a way of empathizing:
"Wow, that's awful."
"Just listen."
"Don't make it about you."
"Stay quiet."
Meanwhile, their brain is screaming:
"I HAVE A RELEVANT TRAUMA. I REPEAT, I HAVE A RELEVANT TRAUMA. THIS IS HOW WE SHOW WE UNDERSTAND. DEPLOY THE TRAUMA."
They're not trying to compete.
They're not trying to steal the spotlight.
They're desperately fighting the urge to say, "Oh my God, that happened to me too," because that's how their brain connects experiences and communicates empathy.
So externally they're nodding politely.
Them: "why didn't you just ask for help??"
ADHD: Because asking for help requires:
-knowing I need help
-knowing what kind of help
-finding the right person
-using words
-being perceived
ADHD is:
Remembering your friend’s birthday a week early
Forgetting the day of
Feeling so bad you don’t reach out at all
Buying a gift a month later
Never mailing it
Still thinking about it six years later