𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘.

Intellectual snob and floor-sitting peasant. I don’t own any chairs. THAT’S YOUR ADVICE TO A POOR PERSON?!

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

Again, just used to way more punishing insults coming from you, that’s all. Let’s leave it at that.

[Chuck Bass @UpperEastBrute]

If thatcounts as nice, I worry for your self-esteem.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

If you don’t stop being so nice to me, I‘ll assume you’re either hitting on me or plotting my ultimate demise.

[Chuck Bass @UpperEastBrute]

You're not /that/ ugly, Daniel.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

Staring for too many hours at glaringly white Word documents — I mean, diligent novel drafts bursting with poetry and words, many words — makes reading a simple text message hard these days.

I‘m clearly made for the era of handwritten letter exchanges.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

@gossipgirlservw Look what the cat dragged in.

— Hey.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

It‘s the manly and rugged Humphrey jaw. I’m sure everyone secretly thinks that.

I expected worse from you. Like, say, the SHEIN version of a disfigured antagonist — now that would have been insulting. Hence my taking-it.

[Chuck Bass @UpperEastBrute]

The shape of your face. And from what I recall, my description wasn't disrespectful.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

@HighOnTheNight 𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘥 — out loud again, huh?

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

One coffee a day only. One coffee a day only. You can do it, Humphrey. Resist the caffeine.

[[Laptop light of an empty Word document illuminating my face as I repeat my new mantra under my breath at, like—not even bothering to check the time—probably 4 AM? God. I can‘t focus.]]

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

@HighOnTheNight another, I don’t know… jolt? Bump? Or whatever it is the cool kids say.

[[With a wry grin, my fingers find the handle of the mug, and I look up to thank my rain-sprinkled benefactor with a nod. She seems familiar. Somehow.]]

…God. I must‘ve really thought — or rather >

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

Torn between politely asking you if you wanna go easy on discussing my sister‘s looks, and wondering what I did to deserve the Superman comparison.

I‘ll take it, though.

[Chuck Bass @UpperEastBrute]

No offense, Walmart Clark Kent.

[Chuck Bass @UpperEastBrute]

At least Jenny is easy on the eyes.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

Someone’s got an alcohol-poisoned death wish.

[bɘn @aliencovenant]

impossible filmmaking

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

@hannamrinpll Uh — okay, uh…

[[For a second, having seen nothing but a swirl of blonde curls, I could have sworn this was Serena. But it‘s not. Awkward.]]

You must have — mistaken me for somebody else — I think? Classic case of — [[I point at my face.]] — one-of-those-faces syndrome.

[Michael Boegl @michaelboegl]

GM ☕️

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

@bettycoopergnd Absolutely! Will be lovely to have you back.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

@bettycoopergnd Hey! Good to see you.

[𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐘. @thathumphrey]

Damn, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵‘s the guy’s secret?

Psh, to think he was just 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 looking like a marble-hewn Greek god…

…Is what I would say if I, uh, was a girl.

[Chuck Bass @UpperEastBrute]

High maintenance women and Nathaniel Archibald.