Kate Lucas

Stand up comedy. Tour guide for those chasing history and/or ghosts. Accidental owner of a cleaning business.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

@MphsTam I have a French oress and a basic pot with a timer. The timer is glorious when I remember to use it

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

I need someone under the age of 30 to come tell me what I'm supposed to do with 7/10 of these make up brushes.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

I have a doom pile of clean laundry and I've decided that I'm only getting dressed out of said pile until it's all been worn, washed and put away so if you see me out over the next few weeks mind ya business.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

I got stuff to make a nice dinner. I got a good bottle of merlot. I got key lime pie, which is my partner's favorite dessert...
And once the mood is right, I'm bringing up vasectomy... #RoeVsWade #americannightmare #mybodymychoice

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

I like that in both "Bundt cake" and "Lordt", the "D" is silent.
#Random

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Every time my phone says "Scam Likely" I think about Dirk Gently and get a little sad that I'm not getting a phone call from the wholistic detective agency. #nerdy

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

If you wouldn't say it about a femme body, why's it okay to say it about 50? #bodyshaming #BeBetter

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Went on a 1st date. Only once did they say something about me was "fucking hot." That something was the fact that when I was learning to play bass, I would play until my fingers bled.
... being seen and respected for who you are as a person? THAT-kids-is fucking hot!

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

It's my daughter's birthday so I can't be a bitch on Facebook, BUT:
His name was Marvin Aday and he had a rich career that spanned five decades and was so much more than that ONE movie.
Okay I'm done.
#MeatLoafRIP

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

I wore a romper to boost my self esteem and now I have to pee. #ChristmasMistakes

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Musics. #work #RedLights

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Ms. Princess Baker tearing it up at the Castle on Jackson
#LiveMusic #SocialSundays

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Come check this out tonight. There's comedy, music, and who knows what shenanigans. It's BYOB so bring something good.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Scrolling pictures of Z-Bo and getting misty-eyed. #Memphis

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Shopping for bras is infuriating.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Tonight I walked into work as the brass band on stage started playing and it was perfectly timed and anyway I think I deserve entrance music from now on.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Fun fact: if you type the word "total" too fast, there I a chance your phone will change it to "tits." There is also a chance you will text a client "your tits for the week is $xx" and quite frankly you should thank me for warning you. #IAmAProfessional #tits

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

Presenting a tour to just the person who wrote that tour is a deeply harrowing experience. Add rain, and an early morning hour to that, and I think I have just experienced.... The Memphis History Gauntlet!!! #NewBusinessIdeas #StressfulMorning
(For real though, I do #lovemyjob )

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

For just $5, you too can have the power to awsner calls.

[Kate Lucas @thatk8creature]

I totally have a flat booty, but I just put chili powder and lime juice on an avacado so maybe there's hope for me yet.