This may be hard to hear, but in more situations than not, you likely somehow played a role in your own suffering (often unconscious). Whether it's how you allowed someone to treat you or your need to people please or having weak boundaries. Whatever it is - you likely ignored some sort of sign or red flag. And that's okay, BUT...
Like they say - "It takes two to tango" and it's important to understand how you may have played a role in accepting certain behaviors from others.
To point the finger and project outward is to always remain a victim. Every situation, heartache, and lesson is an opportunity to learn and do better for yourself.
It's easy to blame others because in blaming others, it removes any work we need to do internally (which can be VERY hard to sit with).
And THAT is how you alchemize pain into wisdom. How you break cycles. How you stop repeating patterns and how you stop making the same mistakes.