That Shit Blows!

Bringing you funny tweets about shit that blows! E-mail your ideas at [email protected]

[Ex's Confessions @exsconfessions]

My ex-gf is the craziest fucking slut out there. She was a virgin until we started dating. I found out she cheated on me w/ 4 guys at once.

[Ex's Confessions @exsconfessions]

Fuck you, you worthless piece of shit. I hope you have fun fucking that new Sandra slut. -John S.

[Ex's Confessions @exsconfessions]

Go to http://t.co/XbjlmTZPuP to tell us about your ex! Send pics to [email protected] or DM us! And remember everything is anonymous.

[Can't Be Trusted If @cantbetrustedif]

You can't be trusted if you like to listen to Nickelback.

[Can't Be Trusted If @cantbetrustedif]

You can't be trusted if you don't like bacon.

[Just Kidding Lyrics @KiddingLyrics]

"Wake me up, when September ends." -Greenday: Just kidding, I'm not a fucking bear. I dont hibernate. Im setting my alarm for 9 oclock.

[Just Kidding Lyrics @KiddingLyrics]

"She got a big booty so I call her big booty"- 2Chainz: Her name's actually Denise so I called her Denise... but Denise still got a fat ass!

[Just Kidding Lyrics @KiddingLyrics]

"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my #, call me maybe". -Carly Rae Jepsen: Gave him a fake number... he's ugly as fuck!

[Just Kidding Lyrics @KiddingLyrics]

"What does the fox say?"- Ylvis: The fox doesnt say shit. And ik for a fact it doesnt say ring-a-ding-dingajdjfjfkdkwbdjcudlwls. Dumbasses.

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

PART!! After you download the app and make an account YOU MUST PUT THIS REFERRAL CODE IN "room214" with no space!! Then youre on your way!!!

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

All you have to do is watch a 30 second trailer and you get paid. Plus download the app for even more money!! Here's the FINAL IMPORTANT....

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

If you have an iPhone, iPod, iPad, or Android phone. Either in the app store or play store download the app called "App Trailers"....

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

Want to make some money, me and my buddy just made $400 in 1 month. If you have the time to do this you mind as well! Check out my nxt tweet

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue!!!

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness.

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

I'd rather carry 10 grocery bags in each hand than make 2 trips.

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

This damn daylight savings time is fucking me up! It's pitch black at 6 o'clock and Im all like "I'm going to bed now."

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

Everyones all like Go Obama or Go Romney! And I'm just over like like hey what's for dinner tonight??

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

You know what I hate? School. And when it's not the weekend. And did I mention that I fucking hate school??

[That Shit Blows! @thatshitblows_]

Fuck alarm clocks.