Krystle

...like sugar coated cyanide...

[冷凍芭蕉 @TPatbat]

Y’all get what this is, right? Just by touching you with these gloves, cops can literally force your body to involuntarily spasm in a way that looks enough like “resisting arrest” on a bodycam video to justify beating your brains out & shooting you dead consequence-free

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Gonna be real sad when garden season is over 😫🥹🥹

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

I’ve had similar days, so I know I’ve likely said some similar shit. But the amount of old J Cole that popped up today on my playlist, plus the family of blue jays that will not leave me the fuck alone, I know a old friend is saying hey, and I needed it.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

1. I wasn’t wrong
2. I need to work on keeping a straight face like that cause… people. Fucking people man.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Sometimes I burst out laughing to myself remembering the time I looked a group of women dead in the eyes outside of Jesus’ tomb and dead pan told them that I don’t think Jesus would want them trampling people to visit him and to please chill.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Often I receive articles on the status of Colombia’s hippos, and other hippo news. Now, I will shit talk the algorithms up and down for creepy and predatory behavior. But credit where credit is due; keep up the hippos. Plus elephants, no less hippos tho.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Every scoop of Dukes mayo used, is a scoop closer to being done. Come to Canada mister and or missus Duke. Please. Just please.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Peopled the fuck out since the second day of the year.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

The people who should go fight in wars should be the politicians who make the rules/negotiations that get countries involved. When you need more people, sign up all the CEO’s of the corporate donors and people profiting from it. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

[jezz @JezziiB]

Anne Frank wasn’t beat or shot to death.

She died of typhus due to unhygienic conditions in her concentration camp.

ICE isn’t just killing the people it shoots.

A detention center is just a death camp by a different name.

And they’re quietly murdering everyday.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Normally I wouldn’t mock people’s shit circumstances. But when they deserve I don’t care. Do you think Andrew Tate’s “cannibal neighbor” has seen those dainty ankles? And if so, do you think he’s thinking lemon pepper dry or buffalo saucy?

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

I tell you what.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

I’m still lost at how the epitome of masculinity has such a dainty ankle.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Nancy Grace on the case takes me back to simpler times.

[Jen The Feisty Librarian @Feisty_Waters]

Americans thinking Canadian wildfire smoke shouldn’t affect them and Canadians thinking FDA cuts won’t affect our food supply. We’re all on this continent together, buckos. Smoke, parasites and viruses don’t care about borders.

[Krystal Ball @krystalball]

This is insane. ICE hired a wife beater with severe mental health issues whose own family is terrified of him. Also worth noting that the military had previously accepted him in spite of severe mental health issues and sent him to Afghanistan where his family say he was turned into a monster.

This ICE hire isn’t just an accident or lack of vetting. Stephen Miller’s goal was to assemble a force of unaccountable marauding thugs. From his perspective this murderous psycho is a success story and exactly what he’s looking for.

[Holly 🇺🇸🦅 @Msdesignerlady]

🧵I hope, everyone understands what he is doing by destroying these original archival documents.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

If you are having a bad Monday so far. It’s ok, I got you. Take a deep breath, picture Conor McGregor douching it up to the ring and then busting up his leg shortly after. 🤭🤭🤭 feel better, don’t you?

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Look, I am not saying it’s ok, nor am I saying I want to hold a wild animal in captivity. But what I am saying; is that I get WHY Mr. Escobar wanted a hippo or two or three or four. I’d go to them, for climate reasons, but get the want. The allure.

[Krystle @thatssokrystle]

Been thinking about Cookies by George a lot lately. Such good cookies.