The Two Ronnies

Thank you all once again, and it's a goodnight from me, and it's a goodnight from him. Goodnight! (Parody account)

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

The Two Ronnies Introduction
https://t.co/iFq4j65jmY via @YouTube

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

This new BBC controller thinks I am the funniest man in Britain. He's been told to stay in bed and take things easy for a while. - RC

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

This week I was asked to do a very important after-dinner speech. I said: "Do you want me to be funny?" They said: "No, just be yourself."

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"I remember that day clearly, because it was the one day there wasn't a sale at Allied Carpets." - Ronnie Corbett

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French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the grape treaders' sit-in.

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"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my right hand." - Ronnie Corbett

[BBC Radio 4 @BBCRadio4]

Eight reasons we love Ronnie Corbett: https://t.co/WvvVpuOQvO

[BBC @AboutTheBBC]

Remembering Ronnie Corbett in pictures from the BBC Picture Library: https://t.co/eolkRpLFe9

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

Heard the one about the car designer who crossed a ­Toyota with Quasimodo? He came up with The Hatchback of Notre Dame!

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

"I hope you like my trousers. If I wear too much tartan I tend to look like a Thermos flask." - Ronnie Corbett

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

My great grandfather was killed at Custer’s Last Stand—he wasn't fighting, he was camping nearby and went over to complain about the noise.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

We’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

The Two Ronnies - Mastermind https://t.co/vBTdqRNnGW via Youtube

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men. Laurel and Hardy.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

At Heathrow, customs officer Mumbly retired today. He shook hands with passengers passing out and confiscated a gold watch for himself.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

Police say they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear normal uniforms.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

Ronnie C: I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it's better than sitting around doing nothing.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

News just in, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.

[The Two Ronnies @The2Ronnies]

And we've just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M-1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on