Kirst

Don't hassle me, I'm local

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Chipotle: Guac is extra
Me: So am I, lay it on me

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

I downloaded the app formerly known as Twitter so I could delete my account but I just went through all my old tweets and I’ve decided I’m just too funny

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

“Is something burning?”
“It’s fine. It’s just some spilled food from last night’s dinner in the oven.”
*opens oven a few mins later*
*finds stockings that we were trying to keep the dogs from*
🤦🏼‍♀️

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

And Owl is

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Why isn’t Tigger in the theme song for Winnie the Pooh?

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Thanks Dr. Dog for spending 2,861 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Shadow People. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/YPIbPoc92D

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

When did twitter become just ads and spam?

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

There have been more than a few instances lately where someone is talking about actor Andrew Garfield but only referring to him as “Garfield” and I’m imagining a cartoon cat

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Kinda forgot about twitter.. #ImBaaack

[Sesame Street @sesamestreet]

Grouches gonna grouch on Sesame Street. 💚 Thanks for visiting our neighborhood @BrettGoldstein! We love you!

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

@lucaswestblade My favorite thing was to make the whole classroom sing this when we had opening ceremony inside 😅 And I usually started it too high

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

@jacob_nuckolls Impressive

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Skateboarding with Carst-

Me: I fell down on my butt
Carsten: is your phone okay?
Me:😶
Carst: I mean- are you okay?

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Carsten just equated “duck duck grey duck” to “person person black person” and I mean he had a point

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

@jacob_nuckolls Ew

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

In other news I just found out that somehow, these are two different people

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

I got my phone back! A stranger found it on the side of the road and somehow called my friend’s number to get it back to me

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

I lost my phone on a bike ride today😑
#sentfrommylaptop

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

@lizdobson These sold like crack at my school

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Why did I tweet this?? I mean I’m so glad I did.. but why?

[Kirst @the3rdblade]

Edward Fart and the pragmatic churros

[Frances Wang @FrancesWangTV]

HOW TO PRONOUNCE: The 2 Asian women killed at Young’s Massage in Cherokee Co. were Chinese.

Xiaojie Tan
Daoyou Feng

(Note: Hard to know exact pronunciation w/o written characters, pinyin w/ tones).

The other 4 victims are Korean. @aaja #StopAsianHate 
@stopaapihate