Sulk

I started underachieving long before it went mainstream

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

Guy: These bar dancers sell themselves for money

Same guy in a matrimonial ad: Seeking well settled groom for daughter. Min salary 20 lakhs

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

"I own you"
"I'm a corpse without you"

Normal person: Please don't abduct, tie and leave me in your basement dude
Psycho: OMG!! He loves me

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

1888: Vincent Van Gogh cuts off a part of his ear for his friend

2015: I love you. Here is a picture of my genitals

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

*Includes "Think twice before printing" in his email signature at work*

*Walks into office dressed as Captain Planet the next day*

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

*quiz show*
"What's the market value of a person's soul?"
"I'd like to phone a friend"
"Whom should we call?"
"Anyone who works at Buzzfeed"

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

Q: What do you call a group of 4 or more engineers discussing their future plans?

A: A failed e-commerce start up idea

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

*Reads product reviews online*

1)Worst decision ever
2)Ruined my marriage
3)OMG!! Cancer!

*Decides he doesn't need a new bag pack anymore*

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

Reasons to not be a jerk to women:
1)They're people too
2)Good karma
3)Making pseudo feminists extinct
4)All 3
5)All 3,but mostly number 3 ✔

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

"Deepika Padukone is right"
"Yes"
"It's an invasion of her privacy"
"Totally"
"She can wear whatever she likes"
"True"
..
..
"Link hai kya?"

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

10 ways you can be more productive:

1) Stop
2) Reading
3) Listicles
4) And
5) Get
6) Your
7) Ass
8) Back
9) To
10) Work

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

*ISIS demands 100 million for journalist*
US:No way
*ISIS beheads journo*

*Obama asks for 5 billion to bomb Syria*
US: *signs blank cheque*

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

All the health apps on the iPhone6 & Apple Watch won't help you lose weight as fast as the food shortage caused by spending 80k on 2 devices

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

Which instrument does Narendra Modi enjoy playing the most?

1) Drums
2) Flute
3) His own trumpet

#ModiExams

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

The 7 habits of a highly effective person:
1) Don't
2) give
3) a
4) fuck
5) about
6) anyone
7) else

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

Normal GPS:
*lady's voice*
Straight for 250m & take a right

Indian GPS:
*spits paan*
*scratches balls*
*points left*
"Aage se doosra right"

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

*phone rings*
Sir, you've a lot of money. You need a credit card"
"No thanks"

*15 seconds later*
"Sir, you're really poor. You need a loan"

[ocdyeus @krazyfrog]

So this is what I think http://t.co/pMX8J39zDS

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

Ways to answer a call:
-Cell phone
-Bluetooth headset
-Google Glass
-Smartwatch

Reasons to answer a call:
-Science is still looking into it

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

@krazyfrog Haha

[Sulk @theCredibleSulk]

@krazyfrog I just take a glass of tap water and post it with #nofilter