Thinking about a good friend of mine, coworker, workout partner, and battle buddy.
He's been putting basically all his money and effort into training to be a badass during the hypothetical fall of western civilization.
He's in the emergency room right now, getting stints put in his arteries because of a heart attack at the age of 44.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but please don't think that you're "just built different". Get regular medical exams, eat healthy, and get sleep.
If anyone was going to be that guy, it's this guy, and we found out he's not that guy, so you're not that guy either.
Not every person of "diverse orientation" is proud of their identity, sometimes its a great source of shame.
Through years of work I've found ways to make peace with my baseline, some days are easier than others. Every day i overcompensate by doubling my femininity because maybe I can't control my mind but I can min-max my female privilege.
I don't care about the "gender presentation" aspect, never have. Organ placement, while it affects me, isn't who or what i am in my value to the world. My value lies in what i create and what i'll leave behind.
It's not the "desire for pronouns" or "I want the world to see me as" - It's the visceral sickness of the private physicality. Sometimes the worms shred you and make your skin prick, and you feel foreign, feeling things that "should be physically there" or a strange sense of disassembly from what you operate.
It's why when people say being this way ISNT a mental illness its just "Who you are" I know they're hoping for someone's approval or fell for virtual propaganda.
I am Midas, Born female and remaining such, and I care deeply for the people who have chosen to physically transition. It's ironic, the one thing that stopped me from taking the last step wasn't a talk, religion, or "mistreatment". It was watching my younger and older brothers suffer in normal circumstances for no reason, and knowing deep down i would inherit their pains of which i would be woefully unprepared.
"I would feel physically more comfortable, but then the world would be my enemy, and i would be alone until i die."
Once I realized that was my great fear, it had me re-examine how selfish of a person I truly am. Self focused, irritating, and hollow. Ironically it probably has made me a better woman and a better person, as disgusting as i feel about it all. I've at least found peace with who i will become.
I want to be beautiful, I want to be loved, I want my family safe and healthy. Maybe one day I will break, but I hope its not for a long time for the sake of peace.
[Un]Happy Pride, consider this my public admission of dysphoria that i have chosen to fight against and not alongside. Take this song i made over a year ago now for the knowers who have known
lmao
@glitch_prod Caine came dangerously close to this fear coming true and he got to stew in it for years with Kinger.
And Pomni used this fear to get under his skin in Ep8.
@John69149375@koshercockney You're right, if the roles were switched up in the way you describe, I'd definitely feel a certain kind of way.
I'd be telling DC to pull the invading troops out of Canada IMMEDIATELY to focus on domestic defense.
@meganigas@XFreeze With what gun? They've been completely disarmed for over a generation now.
If we liberate them, perhaps we'll enumerate their rights so that this doesn't happen again, but it would be on us to take that action.
@SatanTheFirst1@DocStrangelove2 Every people that had been subjugated by the British has come back to have a turn defiling them...
As the first country to shake off their shackles, it seems fitting that the USA be the last ones to return and finally restore order.
"Here's my tips for work-life balance."
> Look inside
> a desperate cry for help.
Oh... Oh no... Is anyone gonna help her?
> Look at the replies
> maximized toxic positivity.
Oh noooooo...
I always get asked how I manage full time work at the Institute while streaming, so here are some of my tips to balance the two!
- Streaming is a hobby! It's fun and it doesn't *feel* like work, so I'm never too tired to stream! In fact, it's my relaxing time that I get to enjoy after work!
- I arrive at the Institute early so I can leave early! Most mornings, I wake up around 4:45am so I can arrive at the office around 6:30 and leave at 3:30. I can come home and handle food, gym, nap, etc, before streaming.
- Strict bedtime! I must be in bed by midnight, but sometimes offline work keeps me until 1 or 2 ^^;;; I generally try to stick to bedtime though!
- Hybrid schedule is key! I work from home 2 days out of the week, allowing me to work on streaming related things while I do Institute work at the same time! I don't think I'd be able to handle full time streaming while also being fully in person at the Institute Q.Q
- 9-10 hours of sleep on days I'm not at the Institute! For 3 days of the week, I clock in around 4-5 hours of sleep a night. To balance it, I sleep in on my WFH days and weekends!
- I always make time for exercise! I actually secretly hold a squat or do leg exercises under my desk while I stream on occasion, as well as sneak in work outs as often as I can! Being both an office lady and a streamer is a deadly combo for inactivity, so I make a point to walk my cat, hit the gym, do floor workouts before bed, etc!
- I meal prep! I get really busy and going out to eat is too expensive, so I take time on weekends to meal prep easy, healthy, reheatable meals throughout the week.
- Designated socialization days! I'm bad at socializing and maintaining a social life, so every other week, I schedule time to hang out with friends for an afternoon for a few hours! I try to text them somewhat frequently too.
- My excel sheets/calendar! I use various resources to track my online and offline work and follow a meticulous schedule! I keep my work, recordings, to do items, and deadlines organized this way! But I admit I sometimes let things slip on accident when I get too busy ^^;;;
And that's generally it hehe! I kinda like being busy and having purpose, but my schedule can be a bit much sometimes, so I don't recommend this if you're someone who struggles with self discipline and work stamina Q.Q But it's fun and I never have a boring day hehe!
@BriAtCookiebox@UnnamedWotagei@ToriaP16 Oh, I finally found you again. I brought my daughter to your Meet & Greet and you left quite a good impression on her. Definitely earned a follow.
@JETNGS After all the free pulls, I had to spend 4k SG to get selector tickets to get these stances... that scratch was *not* giving it up to me without a fight.
@ketsuno_ana1@DegenHyperbola@VTuberASMRFan Just for you, I'll do a quick search for her own words on the matter and you can draw conclusions for yourself... Or don't, I'm not your dad.
https://t.co/dRpWMb7GDP