The Battle Bard

does music things
for the glory of chaos
what's a tweeter?
likes snacks

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

the love shop lady was right, the #rootbeer incense does smell amazing

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

I think that #halloween needs to be made an actual holiday, but it's the day *after* that we all get off for the candy coma

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

Dear Facebook: please stop advertising me pizza, it's not that it doesn't look delicious, it's that I'm intolerant to everything about it

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

I'm absolutely OBSESSED with #TeamStarkid these days ✨I've had the "Nerdy Prudes Must Die" sound track on repeat all week 🎵

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

Soccer balls look a lot different than I remember... 🙈

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

The "Dog of Wisdom" song by The Living Tombstones (feat. Joe Gran) has the same melody progression as "Hootsforce" by Gloryhammer. #musichottake make this mashup happen 😂🎵💖

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

All puppets are gloves. -Destiny, blowing my mind this boxing day #quoteoftheday

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

today my BJJ teacher told me he "doesn't know the meaning of the word spa" and then launched into a 15 min convo with a student about their sauna visits #laughingquietly

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

Cashier: Tap is at the top, right where it's broken.
Me: Broken but still functional: relateable.

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

Fae: I think it's pretty rude for y'all to not even introduce yourselves when we say hi *smh*

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

Just me, casually watching American Ninja Warrior in the Dr's office

[The Battle Bard @the_battle_bard]

Oh yeah, Twitter is a thing:

*insert opinionated Tweet here*