v

who is she????

[big honkin caboose @itsbighonkin]

call me when they make a drug that feels as good as eating a pickle over the kitchen sink in the dark like a little rat goblin

[bisexual chingy 🦂 @honkytonkwhore]

maybe i’m high on pain killers but why did they lauryn hillify the taco bell app

[Sam Cooper #GetOffMyMeaterson @scooperhoops]

Confirmed birder Kyle Anderson with the cardinal tattoo?

[Charlie @Volcelfry]

Guys I just got the call. They’re saying it’s going to be the most Lights by Ellie Goulding summer ever

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

Oh no, I finished all of my little word games for the day and now I have to feel my feelings

[girly&wordly @Brieyonce]

Reminding everyone that tomorrow at 7:30PM Zack and Cody’s reservation at Gigi’s will finally be ready. Celebrate how you will.

[v @the_chaca_]

@MalditxAmor I’ll buy them!

[v @the_chaca_]

@TangyOctopus I would!

[Akilah Green @akilahgreen]

Just finished watching a movie, and I shall now begin my post-movie watching tradition of Googling who everyone in the cast is married to.

[north @northxix]

i’m not a car guy but i fw the trans mission

[r @rq1qi]

going through my 5th grade diary

[v @the_chaca_]

One of my coworkers commented on the fact that I am looking very strong. It’s beautiful because a) I AM strong and b) she complimented me physically without talking about my weight.

[Rob the Geek (gay pride emoji) @rob_thegeek]

Me: *enters 3-45 into Excel*

Excel: Ah, yes you must mean March 45th

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse]

The Taco Bell drive thru at 1 am will have a $200k Mercedes S65 waiting right behind a ‘96 Cavalier that’s never had the oil changed followed by a moped ridden by three people. All craving the same thing: to Live Más. Truly the last great melting pot of class in this country.

[Ben Leary @benlearyy]

we teach our spinach to shrink itself. to make itself smaller