The Hecklr

News and Political Commentary Satire. Visit us soon at

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Breaking News: Bill Gates exposed as the man behind the creation and release of COVID-19. Gates exclaims “This could’ve been avoided if you just would’ve bought more Zunes...” #BreakingNews #tech #Science #health

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Breaking news! Man who refused to wear mask in public because “COVID has only killed 1% of people” now states that he refuses to take the new vaccine if even one person dies from it.

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Today we celebrate National “Fuck Around And Find Out” Day. All jokes aside, a sincere salute to the troops. #GodBlessAmerica

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

New Poll shows 70% of people believe that polls are misleading. The other 50% of people are wrong.

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Paul Rudd shares his number one secret to clear, youthful-looking skin! (Hint: It's Virgins Blood!)
#beauty #skincare #moisturize

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Scientists list every benefit of using Himalayan Pink Salt over regular salt.

" "- Scientists

#science #food #holistic

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Buffalo Wild Wings to release “Hell Fire” challenge. It includes the original 12 Blazing wings from before, but eat wings is dipped in battery acid and broken glass. #wings #food

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

The 2021 Titanic Replica Ship will launching with “His and Hers” Door Debris. #neverletgo #immediatelyletsgo

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Concerned newlyweds discover ancient Mayan Calendar in the backyard of their new Fixer-Upper. The calendar will be placed in the home next to their Native American Burial Ground remains, a collection of broken Porcelain dolls, a single ouija board, and a VHS copy of The Ring.

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Promising new app called "Kwitter" hires a random stranger to walk into your work, quit your job for you, and then slap the shit out of your terrible manager, Todd.
#technology #innovation #startup #fucktodd

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Jupiter, in an attempt to hard-reset life on Earth, temporarily shuts off its gravity causing millions of planet-destroying meteors to hurl our way. Wins Nobel Peace Prize.

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

@EA rumored to be working with @AOC to implement micro-transactions for her Pro-Socialism outreach. For just 1000 “AOC Bucks,” you can unlock a free “Tax The Rich” sweater (retail price $58). Purchase today to help teach the world that capitalism is wrong!

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Pets teach us the most important of life lessons. Belly rubs are the best. Walks are good for the soul. It’s much easier to live in complacency than to just eat the people in charge. #pets #animallovers #partofthefamily

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

The Hecklr ran a poll about home security over the past week. 73% of people feel completely safe in their homes; the other 27% answered “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!?” #Security #Safety #journalism

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

And today in Sports: The Green Bay Packers begin unbeatable winning streak after they realize they’re allowed to play well for more than 75% of a game! #football #NFL #Packers

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Georgia officials claim that the additional ballot boxes which were counted after hours were placed there by top men... Top... Men...

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

@TheEconomist “...Suprising absolutely nobody”

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Neuralink, technology implant company owned by Elon Musk, announces “Self Destruct” feature for initial 2021 launch. Pre-orders increased 1000%. #neuralink #technology #whelp

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

Santa Claus tests positive for Reindeer Flu. ”We’re sorry to the millions of households that won’t have a big Christmas this year because of our illness. We’ll try our best to make sure things are better next season. Thank your parents for their love and hard work this year.”

[The Hecklr @the_hecklr]

New Study shows that Millennials are approximately one stubbed toe away from burning down the entire infrastructure of democracy.