Jordan Troublefield

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

It's a real shame I don't get periods. I'd be the quirky girl referring to her 'monthly visits' as epochs, ages, or dynasties.

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Ever feel like God pulls a David Wallace and takes away your Holly Flax?

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Masturbating with the TV on gets tricky when Law & Order: SVU rolls across the screen...

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

If a gay man's fake-girlfriend is a desguise called a "beard", is the lesbian's alternative called a "merkin"?

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

is in love with a girl who, despite wishing, can't bring herself to lie and love him back. Hang on to who you love.

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Pleatherheads #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

69* #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Tween Wolf #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Thousand Dollar Baby #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Two Girls and a Tin Cup #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Regional Velvet #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

D4: Mighty Ducklings #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

Re-Enter the Dragon #normsbadsportsmovies

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

There is not a bead of moisture left inside my body. Just sweat. I'm wetter than a horny mermaid.

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

HBO's Urban Sex: literally the least sexy thing on TV? #fuckyouirony

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

RIP Leslie Nielsen. You were always the goofiest bastard.

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

@MrCraigBierko
Lamest thing I've yet to tweet. Lol.

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

@MrCraigBierko
Hahaha. Awesome. Glad to see a fellow French/Jewish athlete enthusiast. You should try 'Schwartz Illustrated'. It's biannual.

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

@MrCraigBierko
"Bierko, Je T'aime"???

[Jordan Troublefield @the_nine19s]

My ass smells like Yellowstone Nat. Park. Damn you free, extra burrito I found in my Taco Bell bag! Damn you!!!