Alice

This is my tweeter account.

[Bustle @bustle]

me: never met a cup of coffee i didn't like before 10AM

me: never met a person I liked before 10AM

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

@NicolaClarke93 he looks like a hot dog

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

In The Bell Jar, Esther tries to step on as many feet as she can while leaving the cinema. I think she and I might have been friends. 😂

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

Genuine career advice I received today: flip a coin.

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

Dentist: are you allergic to anything?
Me: um cats
Dentist: well I don't think there'll be any cats here today

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

I hate insomnia I hope it dies

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

@rainnwilson No but I love you so there's that

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

3000 words in a day was animal cruelty

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

No shit dude

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

I miss floppy discs 💾

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

When you think 'who's that nutter through the window?' Then u realise tis ur own reflection

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

@carrierosemorr I'm bored so I'm just gonna sit here and stare at you

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

Victorian novels always have the best food

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

@carrierosemorr the night will go on, a little more bisc

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

People should've surrounded @CerealKillerUK brazenly eating Tesco own brand cereal

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

Freezing my bollocks off at Houston airport. I'll never learn

[Alice @the_oh_hello]

@EverydaySexism "Girls can't be funny."