Mac Baller

[Mac Baller @the_real_p_mac]

Ok who changed it again

[Mac Baller @the_real_p_mac]

Gimme that chopped cheese. #MetsPregame

[The Post Game Podcast @the_post_game]

“I’m sorry but there’s no way those boys on Express are 13 years old. I’d just like to see a birth certificate!”

[Matt Rambo @rattmambo]

I have 2 takes. Tucked in jerseys and high shorts are not a thing. And work out videos and don’t perform in the league is a thing. Sorry?

[Giants Daily @NYGDaily]

Greatest throw in Super Bowl history.

[KB @kbnoswag]

I’m going to give ringworm to someone random who retweets this tweet (must be following me so I can dm you)

[Mac Baller @the_real_p_mac]

@kbnoswag Boys are getting after it tonight. Got a light 4-way pregame lined up with KKG, SigEp, and women's lax at the senior house. Then we're having a wild open at PiKapp—guys throw 5s, girls are free (if our pledges working the door think they're attractive) Postgame cyph my place

[KB @kbnoswag]

Ben Shapiro Absolutely Destroys People With Facts (Kygo Remix)

[KB @kbnoswag]

Shut the fuck up mom, I’m tweeting pictures of Kate Upton with no caption so people at school will stop calling me gay

[KB @kbnoswag]

Thinking about tweeting something like “it’s october and the only thing spooky rn is my grades & attendance” and then sending a “get off twitter and get your lazy ass to class 😂🙊” DM to every mildly attractive nursing major who quote tweets it

[KB @kbnoswag]

Wish I was still in college so I could do things like steal my roommate’s spiked seltzers from the fridge and give myself a mild concussion from smashing a can of pomegranate flavored Truly off my head and chugging 1/4 of it for a snapchat story that gets 37 views

[Mac Baller @the_real_p_mac]

@JackMorrissey_ Heat up now @mattkolenda

[KB @kbnoswag]

The owner of the Horny Facts™ account gradually maturing and realizing there’s more to life than being aggressively horny is one of the most inspirational character developments in twitter history

[Four Loko Fightin’ Artichokes @DaLokoChokesx4]

Congrats! @Marlon_Mack25

[KB @kbnoswag]

It’s been at least 5 years and I still can’t tell if that “ohhhhhhh I think that I found myself a cheerleader” song is fucking terrible or incredible

[Lil Sasquatch @lilsasquatch66]

No one:

White guy who doesn’t know if he remembered his wallet:

[KB @kbnoswag]

Are High School Football Players Becoming Too Humble? https://t.co/b5zQQZI1kP

[Mac Baller @the_real_p_mac]

@kbnoswag @mattkolenda

[KB @kbnoswag]

Fellas, what football facts are we memorizing so we can impress girls at the super bowl party tonight? I think I’m going with “not bad for a sixth round pick (199th overall) in the 2000 NFL draft” every time Tom Brady makes a completion