Shannon 🌹🦂

Verified Grown-Ass Man

[LA @loriannperez_]

I’m ready for 90+ degree weather & 8 pm sunsets

[kaeos ✨ @PureKaeos]

This mars retrograde was absolutely, completely ruthlessly unhinged and spared no one. Not a single soul.

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

*Turns 26* *Has to sleep on a heating pad every night*

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

🤍

[Glennon Doyle @GlennonDoyle]

@_annwarren it's all gonna be okay. it's gonna take a hell of a long time to make it so, but we're on our way.
rest tonight. we'll begin again tomorrow - with Love, Fury, Relentless and Hope.

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to have a penis, or how hard it must be to control, but I need someone to explain to me what’s going through their heads when they leave PISS ALL OVER THE SEAT.

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Celebrating #WorldMentalHealthDay by feeling like garbage in human form

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Cameron Diaz is 50. FIFTY. That’s all.

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Not the bruises lasting longer than the relationship

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

I have officially mastered the art off putting a duvet cover on and am ready to be wifed-up

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Willing to pay someone $17, and a shot of Jameson, to tap through all of the V-Day stories on Insta for me. Serious inquiries only.

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

You might feel useless but, at least you’re not the person who had to do Kim Kardashian’s makeup for the MET this year. . .

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

All I’m looking for is someone to push the bench in when I’m hip-thrusting. . .

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Whoever told “lol” to start correcting to “LOL” needs to tell tell it to stop

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

There are so many people that will need therapy after this year who can’t/won’t get it and that’s terrifying.

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

My rings only come off if I’m having sex or deadlifting and if that doesn’t describe my life right now. . .

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

@carolinaline_ LITERALLY

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Mood: Getting pedicures with the person you know you’re going to be rubbing up against later

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

My current aesthetic is running past the bar I blacked out at the night before

[Shannon 🌹🦂 @the_ssboyd]

Friendship is knowing which friends to tell before you get the tattoo and which ones to wait and send the picture to after