Amy Young

Says stuff, writes stuff, eats stuff

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

If you thought I could go a single day without talking about how wonderful Kansas Citians are, you were wrong. http://t.co/5eNZp3gN4x

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Its funny because its true! #YesAllWomen http://t.co/tUnkI1fwNg

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

The most reasonable award breeds after dinner mints at the blender @cicomedy http://t.co/0a7DNWfP0i

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

Scatter my ashes in my enemies' faces

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

There is no greater relief than realizing that whatever that liquid was that just dropped on your head, it was not bird poop.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

As a frequent reader of the Serial Killers Wikipedia page, I can confidently say my cab driver is definitely a serial killer. Pray for me.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Tried to squeeze sideways between two machines at the gym and got stuck. You're welcome women of Xsport, your negative fitspiration is here

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Considering that my childhood ambition was to be a backup singer for Jimmy Buffet, it's shocking I'm not more comfortable with failure.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Nothing sexier than a little stress eczema, or stress-czema on the back of the knees.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

You guys, I may be about 25 years late on this, but Ann Richards is an AMERICAN HERO

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

@bransonreese Oh, don't even get me started on Bill, Susie, and Ann Cusack! These corrupt jokers run Chicago, and I HAVE HAD IT.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

So what was punishment for the evil stepsisters at the end of Cinderella is now just an actual thing? Bye bye toes! http://t.co/ClBZHFFIQw

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

If it is raining and I'm outside there's about a 60% chance I'm pretending to be in Last of the Mohicans in my head

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Anyone can accidentally fart. It takes true talent to accidentally mouth fart.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Oh you know if I'm cleaning the apartment there's a ken burns documentary on in the background. Now let's learn about Prohibition!

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

I would not be able to buy anything with that, and I wouldn't get to openly masturbate to Tyrion Lannister. Fair trade.

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

If I had a nickel for every guy this year who said we'd be together to watch the #GoT premiere I'd have 3 nickels and one penny for a repeat

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

@jessflo19 Actually I'm not home either. IF THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY ROOM THEY'RE UNAUTHORIZED AND PROBABLY BUFFALLO BILL. help us dear God

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Why no one has taken me up on this sweet offer is beyond me

[Amy Young @theamycateshow]

Tonight, like most nights in high school, I'd pay someone in gold to sit on my dirty laundry pile & listen to morrissey with me in silence