The Apple Bastard

Apple Fanboy, former Apple Store employee, current IT professional, bit of a cunt.

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

😒: Due to the recent cyber attacks, can you advise what anti-virus you're using?

👴🏼: Firefox and Cisco AnyConnect?

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

Mngr: any other business you'd like to address in your annual review?

Me: (plays "For The Love Of Money" by the OJays)

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

MRW I'm home for the holidays

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

Take your fucking makeup-caked eyes off your phone for 2 fucking seconds you vapid materialistic entitled stain on humanity.

Moooorning!🤗

[Creative Rants @Creative_Rants]

*signed up to be notified when Super Mario Run is available*

*never received any App Store notification*

Me:

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

@jurejerebic I can forgive hyphen, but dash? Seriously?

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

👵🏼: what's my email?
😒: first name, hyphen, second name@-
👵🏼: what's a hyphen?
😒: it's a dash
👵🏼: what's a dash?

Jesus tap-dancing Christ

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

MRW people bring chocolate into the office

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

💁🏻‍♂️: "Hey guys, wear your kitschiest Xmas Sweater & come have some subpar eggnog in the kitchen!"

😒: "Ho ho go fuck yourself."

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

YOU REALLY DON'T BE USING WELL GRAMMAR NEITHER, DO YA PRINCESS?!!!1! https://t.co/QTgQFNcZE8

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

STANDARD SHIPPING TIMES?!? WHAT A CORRUPT COMPANY! https://t.co/8ZTHFeveU6

[🥲 @jeexw]

Long story short still couldnt get my phone replaced due to people bullshit. Now I gotta wait 3-5 business days for shipping #FuckApple

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

OH SHIT, HE'S GOT OUR NUMBER BOYS, MIGHT AS LIQUIDATE THE COMPANY! WITHOUT HIS CASH FLOW WE'RE DOOOOOMED. https://t.co/K5Jp7Kcu7Z

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

@Wynnie_thePooh GET BETTER MUSIC

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

@RZSpecialist at some point, we all become customers

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

I've made a simple troubleshooting procedure that users can take home with them. Please dispense accordingly.

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

Coming in on Monday after a major desk move to find someone damaged a network switch and there's no internet…

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

Social media is nothing but pics of people with their girlfriends, wives & kids in costumes & I'm at home like…

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

I'm full of beans today. Bitter suicidal beans.

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

😐:What would you like the shared calendar to be called?

💁🏻: Vicky!

[The Apple Bastard @theapplebastard]

@sufiboy correct