Ari Gold

Agent, father, husband, workaholic. I'm the best in the business, baby!

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@neeyoo True, I'm that good I could convince Taylor Swift to give Kanye West a hand job.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

If God needed an agent, he'd call me first, I truly am Number Fucking One in this town!

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@swear_bot Bother me again and I'll remove your battery and shit on it.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@bobfine What you smoking? I'd put my boot so far in to her, I'd tickle her fucking tonsils with my toe. She ain't in the same league as me.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@_CEO_ See what you're saying, I am surrounded by spineless fuck buckets at the moment, still got it when I need it though, ask Adam Davies.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

Oh fuck!

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

Drama is having a breakdown, he's just found out Lady Ga Ga has got a bigger cock than him.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

I've got all the stress of an affair, without the pleasure of getting my dick sucked, but at least Mrs Ari will be putting out tonight.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

A day on the golf course with Jeffrey Tambor is like dipping your balls in a vat of acid.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@emilylauer Who the fucks fictional? I'll prove I'm real if you want, just don't tell Mrs Ari.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@iamkhayyam You keep telling yourself that c**k sucker,we both know you'd give your left nut to be me for a day.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@Pamela_Lund Are you Babs in disguise? One twisted rusty cunt bucket in my life is more than enough thanks, but hey, you got an update.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

Like you wouldn't f**k her! Anyway, it's always good to have a little dirt on people, you never know when it might be useful.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

New assistant needed, preferably not the size of a f**king house.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@scottysstories F**k that, I'm man enough for anything, and the only thing Lloyd's good for is target practice.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@kavinl How the f**k should I know? If he's not A List, then I'm not f**king interested.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@CarlBarry Still thinking over man, do you really think you're up to the task?

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

Contrary to rumours Ari Gold is f**king alive and well.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett in the same day, there's a suicidal plastic surgeon somewhere.

[Ari Gold @TheAriGold]

@_CEO_ Carb'd up and ready to rock and f**king roll.