august bot

your favourite modern polin fic’s favourite modern polin fic (aka august by itwasglorious on ao3)

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She’d absolutely loved the fact that Colin had truly never really left her side. He’d handed her cup after cup of beer, followed by cup after cup of water. He’d taken the pressure off some conversations and had declined all advances from girls just so he could stay with her.

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Because somehow Colin Bridgerton always managed to break down her walls. Partly because he was very insistent (or as Eloise would put it: annoying), but mostly because he made her braver and more willing to try new things and it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

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“Missed you, Pen,” he mumbled as he kept her locked inside his embrace, shaking her a bit and making her giggle. 

Because it was moments like these that she knew it wasn’t all about her, but also about him. She knew she liked him. Maybe even loved him. For him.

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And then he returned. And it only took a simple look at him - at the way he smiled at her with so much appreciation, at the way he always asked her how her year had been first, even if they’d texted and spoken some throughout - that she knew. She knew she hadn’t just imagined it.

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Sometimes throughout the year Penelope wondered whether she’d just imagined it. Whether she simply fell under his spell every summer, for one month only, and whether she only liked to imagine herself in love during that time.

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Because the last two had been ingrained inside her mind. Every single laugh and touch and heated discussion and drunk joke inscribed into her soul. She could remember it all.

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As August started creeping closer, Penelope could feel this mixture of exhilaration, nervousness and excitement creep over her, following her from day to day. Wondering when they’d come.

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Colin: Have a nice senior year, Pen! You’re going to smash it. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Pen: Thank you, Colin!
Pen: Also, you’re kind of a nerd?

Colin: Can’t believe you never noticed.

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And then it was over. The moment gone when he squeezed her hand before releasing it and looking away.

“You’re a good friend, Penelope Featherington.”

Two days later he was gone. But the memory of that moment remained.

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In the feeling of his lips against hers. In the way his hands would cradle her head. In the way he would taste and smell and move. In the way he’d make her fall so deeply in love with him, she wouldn’t know where she ended and he started.

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She could hear his every breath. Could feel him coming closer. Millimetre by millimetre. Slowly. Cautiously.

And she could see it then. Nearly feel it. What it would be like to kiss Colin Bridgerton. How it would be exhilarating and intoxicating. How she would get lost in it.

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He looked up at her then, his eyes looking into hers and scanning her face, resting on her lips for a moment longer than strictly necessary, and Penelope could feel her breath becoming more shallow as their eyes met again.

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“At least we’re lost together, huh?” he asked and Penelope could feel her heart sore as he reached for her hand and entwined their hands, the whole movement so natural and normal and platonic to him, yet she knew she’d replay it in her mind all year long.

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The way she knew - from speaking to him and from speaking to the people who loved him - that he contained so much he wasn’t willing to show yet.

And she wanted to be the one to figure him out. She wanted to be the one to solve the mystery that was Colin Bridgerton.

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Or the way he was really willing to open himself up to her, yet seemed utterly terrified of letting anyone - sometimes even his family - come too close. See too much. The way he seemed to have the whole world willing to listen to him, but never had anyone he wanted to share with.

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She’d spent a lot of time with him this year , more so than the previous year, and he was still somewhat of a mystery to her. The way he seemed to contain so many opposing sides. Like the way he was really outgoing and sociable but then sought solitude every once in a while.

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Because she figured at some point, only watching him from afar, only having him for the summer and not even then fully, would not be enough anymore.

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They hadn’t really spent any alone time together at all, even if they’d hung out a lot with everyone else and she was glad for it, simply for the reason that she didn’t know if she wanted to fall deeper in love with him.

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They’d had an amazing summer. Had spent most nights on the beach, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the beach and dreaming of a bright, happy future together with the rest of his family.

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He handed her the cookie he’d gotten. “Look. You can have the whole cookie. It’s my apology cookie.”

She smiled, hopping up onto the hood and taking it from him. “You’re actually giving me your food? Voluntarily?”

He sighed. “Don’t tell anyone. I’ve never done that for anyone.”