Azeem Banatwalla

comedian and bridgefluencer. not active unless im intoxicated after a football match

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@Poan__Sapdi Just pay and get it over with and learn from the experience. If you write a great stand-up bit about it, you will make the money back 😂

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Arsenal lose a UCL final because of Gabriel. My faith in humanity is restored.

[Vaishna Roy @vaishnaroy]

Indira Gandhi
was disqualified by Allahabad High Court on June 12, 1975, in State of Uttar Pradesh v. Raj Narain. Court invalidated her 1971 Rae Bareli LS win for using govt resources in her campaign. DD and AIR are govt resources.

[Mahua Moitra @MahuaMoitra]

Dear @narendramodi your party has the lowest percentage of women among all parties in Lok Sabha . Implement Women’s Reservation NOW based on 543 seats - what is stopping you? Jumlabazi Nahi Chalegi

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@LalitKModi @IPL @DrSanjivGoenka @LucknowIPL Sir please let us know if you'd like to join the podcast sometime and share more such nuggets on a better platform😁

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@MissSassbox Please watch the whole bit as it was intended, here -> https://t.co/WuzrRG53Ef

:)

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

He's alright, this guy

[Sassington, M.C. @MissSassbox]

WORTH THE WATCH:

his name is Azeem Banatwalla and this is one of the most creative and hilarious comedy bits you will ever hear. someone's definitely going to try and replicate it. 😭

[Gabbar @Gabbar0099]

He nailed it 🔥😅

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Crazy. Aaj kal Blinkit se CEO bhi 10 minute mein mil jaata hai

[زماں @Delhiite_]

You can go to jail...

Creative genius or sad reality? 😪

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

If you want to watch AFCON and support any team playing against Mbuemo/Amad/Mazraoui so they come back soon and we don't have to endure more Yoro/Zirkzee life, go get the Football Fiesta pass on @FanCode. Rs.99 for 30 days. Some Ronaldo/Mbappe type youth prospects also included😂

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Dear @AmeetSatam (who I am unfortunate enough to have as my local MLA), "vote jihad" chhodo. Andheri residents pe ROAD JIHAD karna band karo.

And also don't forget the "Khans" you come to when you are begging for votes, you pathetic, bigoted, incompetent fraud.

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Asli account se aao Ten Hag 😂

[Bayer 04 Leverkusen @bayer04_en]

Just hoping we don't get Grimsby...

#UCLdraw

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@SeducedDuck Needs to play volleyball

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Haramorim Ball just doesn't end

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@Sounak11 Nothing false was advertised 😂

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@abhishekdey_ A great man once said, eras can come to an end 😂

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Some delulu before going to bed:

The last time United lost 2nd round Carabao Cup

We were also 1 point from 2 games

Playing Burnley in GW3 (which we would draw 0-0)

Boring football all year with a tactically inflexible manager

And we ended up in the top 4.

Good night 😂

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

@chickensurma Chelsea fans would understand best. Hes just a budget Villas-Boas

[Azeem Banatwalla @TheBanat]

Will United finally Cook this week? 🤔

@FanCode #ad