The best rest

Sleeper knowledge things

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@BohemianDiva99 @itsmelaurin What made you lose respect?

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

I think part of the issue is the concept of “typical simp husband”. What is the structure of society in which masculinity is toxic and being considerate, supportive, loving, honorable, and doting on your wife is simping? The issue also lies in the female psychology and society that trains them this behavior is acceptable. It’s not as straightforward as labeling actions supportive of a partner as “simping”. This is especially true considering just how many marriages or LTRs end due to the exact scenarios. You certainly can’t blame all the “typical simp husbands” for their partners neglect and dismissal of partner bonding while taking advantage of everything else that is given freely.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

I get both sides, but I think people in general have become avoidant, fearful, dismissive, narcissistic, and inadvertently emotionally abusive. Not saying that there aren’t two sides, but being direct and creating better boundaries help prevent damaging others. Also, looking within ourselves and truly understanding why we are ok doing this is just as key as why anyone tolerates it.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

I wish it was that simple. More often than not, that’s not the issue. I’ve seen more research on this performed by feminists psychologists over the past 30 years that backs up a combination of neurohormonal, societal, attachment dysfunction, and the unfortunate influence of social echo chambers fueled with hatred and vitriol that changes the mental and emotional dynamics even in otherwise healthy, established relationships. Even when a disengaged partner becomes aware of the issues and sees the impact many are incapable or unwilling to attempt healing and repair. It’s certainly not just women, but it leans heavily that direction primarily due to common familial roles and the psychosocial influences that have been magnified by social media.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

Good words, but frankly, unhealed traumas and avoidant attachment types prevent a lot of people from having the capacity to give what they can’t receive even when they’re aware. Add that to the list of BPD, NPD, CPTSD issues and the number just balloons as to why so many people are suffering in dysfunctional relationships. Also, there are a lot of people out there aware of their issues and due to their developed patterns of self regulation that are destructive to attempts at healing, fear of confronting the issues, and sometimes the idea they’re just “broken” and can’t actually heal they never address the issues and solidify the persona. Add to that the list of social programming that has been happening pitting people (especially sexes) against one another and the dysfunction is even encouraged at this point. Social media and echo chamber ideologies just amplify the issues. Acceptance of people is nice, and the golden rule is great, but when we try to pour from empty cups, or worse yet, convince ourselves the cup is full of love when it’s full of confusion, fear, bitterness, hate, and contempt we end up in a worse place than we started and begin justifying bad behavior.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

No real solutions here. You’re saying men must manage the woman’s emotional state by removing every barrier/task instead of saying that a woman should be prioritizing her healthy relationship which is supportive of making those other demands easier while emotionally connecting and keeping pair bonding strong.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

I hear and have experienced both sides of this argument. I am very emotionally aware and connected. I am also a man that connects/pair bonds like pretty much any other man and woman for that matter. My wife and I have had direct and calm conversations. I have and continue to work on myself, but she continues to say that I need to stop taking it personally because it’s in her head. It’s still personal when your partner denies you and makes you feel unwanted/undesired yet continues to give appreciation for the efforts and lifestyle you provide that allows them to regulate themselves and rebuild themselves. Reciprocal dynamics are the only way it will work long term. Love and appreciation don’t make up for not respecting your partner’s attempts to intimately connect. Still trying, but after so long it becomes a one sided dynamic even if there are significant underlying trauma and emotional issues that remain unresolved, even with a connected emotionally intelligent partner that wants to work on them with you. Capacity and willingness are the minimum necessary prerequisites for healing regardless or acknowledgment. There can be healing without acknowledging, but there can’t be healing without capacity or willingness. The shame of failure to meet relationship needs gets louder when personalized, and gets easier when someone gets convinced that it’s respecting their boundaries despite the damage to the relationship.

[Sergio Ferrero @calotonterias]

La edad solo explica un 2,5% de la variación de testosterona entre hombres, mientras que el exceso de grasa corporal explica un 18-20%.

Lo que más reduce tu testosterona es ser sedentario, no entrenar fuerza, tener exceso de grasa corporal, no tomar el sol, comer ultraprocesados, dormir mal y no comer animales. No culpes tanto a la edad.

[Sergio Ferrero @calotonterias]

Tener poca masa muscular y poca fuerza también se debe más a no entrenar que a la edad. Los hombres de 72 años que entrenan fuerza tienen músculo y fuerza comparables o incluso superiores a los de hombres de 26 años físicamente activos pero que no entrenan fuerza.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@Tristan_Fifield @stoneoreye Nice to see some data on the intrinsic bias of how women perceive men to behave because of testosterone versus how it actually make one process information and form more fair/logical conclusions.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@MarriageLifeNow @DeChristianLife Lol, no do the same for a women who’s like this. What if it’s the women doing this. Good luck!

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

I can appreciate your sentiment, and I agree the evidence on this topic is clear. The main issue that develops in long term relationships is loss of polarity, loss of novelty, loss of spousal interests, eventually loss of respect. Loss of sexual interests typically follows. This is unfortunately compounded by social mirages of the power of independent women that like to say how they “don’t need a man” for XYZ. No doubt there are many independently fruitful women. Many of them are miserable and lonely, just as many successful men. Casual sex may give a dopamine hit, but without the bond it will never fill that void. True, we don’t need anyone just to survive, but to truly thrive, to fully grow, to heal, that takes partnership, appreciation, passion, and respect. A future built with two minds, two hearts, and two souls that continually work to be better more complete people for themselves and for one another.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

You should read the 4 intimacy types, very educational. Women by and large are the 4th type, Responsive. This is not coercion it is literally psychology of sexual arousal and intimacy. Too many people are misapplying the concept of coercion when it comes to dedicated relationships versus a dating interaction.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@CrabbyPlaid @GoodNews_Hub I think you confused the word coercive with loving and considerate of your partner.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@BurnerA82485769 @GoodNews_Hub lol, hot take

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

She saw the drama and the trauma as her baseline. She was raised to be disconnected. Attachment types, 4 agreements, intimacy types. We all live with these experiences, self defined roles, expectations, and perceptions. When you finally fully dedicated and gave your all you wanted her to reciprocate. Thing is, she never knew how, that’s why it worked for so long. You never made her face herself, until you saw yourself and changed.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

This is such a bullshit example. 90% of the time it’s a woman pulling this shit trying to manipulate a man into doing something they want. The man pushes back and then this is the aftermath of a gaslighting that occurs. When a woman says I dont think that’s what happened and a man is being fully accountable, but clearly misunderstood, or perhaps there are old wounds with a broken lens that the actions are being seen through? The man attempts to explain or discuss why it is that the woman feels or interprets something in a certain way even if there was no clear intent with his action. They get passive aggressive or just say I’m not dealing with this, or I don’t want to talk about it, or you’re not respecting my boundaries, or your trying to control me, or I am an independent woman, or I don’t need you, etc, etc, etc. They remain to see their worldview only and actively disengage with their partners’ perspective or intent if it doesn’t match theirs. Blanket statements, but so is your video.

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@charistkylo @xevekiah Kind words, but I’ve seen 70 and 80 year olds bitter at the world because they couldn’t forgive themselves and admit what they did was selfish, wrong, and hurtful to others. Such is life…

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

@Ifyyodunze @heraldos_vnz @xevekiah Sounds a bit defensive. Maybe you have done the same to someone to “find yourself”?

[The best rest @Thebestrested]

Sure, try this in marriage with kids and financial ties. It’s not the secure/anxious person that is insecure they are literally being treated as useless/unwanted. Avoidants need to recognize and fix themselves. Also, they are good for a discard. Very bad dynamics. They will emotionally destroy people repeatedly.